We are truly sorry to hear about the depths of despair you are feeling, Elizabeth. It is important to remember that God is always with us, even in our darkest moments. In Psalm 34:18 WEB it is written, The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
Firstly, we want to address the feeling that God is silent. In Psalm 22:1-2 WEB, David expresses a similar feeling, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? Our Lord, I cry in the daytime, but you dont answer; and in the night season, and am not silent. However, we know from the rest of the psalm and the tale of David and his beloved son Solomon and the whole of the history of Israel in the Old Testament, that David and the Israelites continue and we need to be confident that God is there listening to us. The idea of him possibly not being there and listening is something that only appears real to us from our perspective. God is there and we just need to keep on praying and looking for him and to him with our focus on Him and not our circumstances. Just like David and countless others in the scriptures. Jesus says it best in John 16:33 WEB These things have I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have oppression; but cheer up! I have overcome the world.
The feeling of Jesus and the Father not being there is best explained in Psalm 77:1-9 WEB just like David in Psalm 22. The Psalmist was drained physically, unable to speak, and experiencing sleepless nights and not allowing him to be comforted. Then, suddenly, in verse 10, he realized the problem. He was focusing on his problem and not looking to God, it says in Psalm 77:10-12 WEB Then said I, I am sick; therefore the memories of the Most High fail (due to your sickness, the Lord is not in your thoughts).
It's also crucial to address the belief that God might not intervene if you were desire to end your life. In John 10:10 WEB Jesus says, The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. God desires for you to have life and have it abundantly, and He is always ready to intervene and help us in our time of need. 2 Timothy 2:13 WEB If we are faithless, he remains faithful; for he cannot deny himself." All of the promises of God are amazing but sometimes it is just so hard to see them in our circumstances. One of the best verses that might be a lifeline for you in verse worth memorizing for times like this. In Hebrews 13:5 WEB When Jesus said, for He has said, "I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you." God guaranteed us with his promise, that Jesus will never leave us or forsake us." This promise by Jesus should change our view of life, and give tone to our prayers to Him.
We must also discuss the importance of praying in the name of Jesus. It is wonderful that you acknowledged the power of Jesus name. In Acts 4:12 WEB , we are reminded, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved in the name of Jesus or Christ. Philippians 2:9-11 WEB Therefore God also highly exalted him, and gave to him the name which is above every name; that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, those on earth, and those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
The power of prayer is magnified when we call upon the one and only Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (Now that you have mentioned it, you should continue to pray in Jesus Name so that you can be heard. Keep doing this.)
We stand with you in prayer, asking God to heal you both physically and mentally. In Exodus 15:26 WEB, God reveals Himself as Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who heals you. We pray for His healing touch upon your life. We also pray for His comfort and peace to surround you and fill you, casting out all fear and anxiety. In Philippians 4:6-7 WEB, the Apostle Paul reminds us, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
If the mental torment becomes unbearable, please reach out to a trusted Christian friend, pastor, medical professional. Your life is precious, and there are people who care and want to help. God is always there to support you through others.
Let us pray together.
Father God, we lift up Elizabeth to You, asking for Your healing touch, Your comfort, and Your peace. We pray that You will surround her with Your love and remind her of Your constant presence. We rebuke the spirit of fear and anxiety and ask that You fill her with Your holy courage and strength. We pray for Your will to be done in her life, and we ask that You reveal Yourself to her in a powerful way thank you for your faithfullness and love in this situation in Jesus name amen.