Laworellen
Disciple of Prayer
After I ask for prayer last time my mom changed with me. Then the power outage for ### days, ### was about ###h a day and the last was for the whole day. When power came back the motherboard on my PC died, thank God my mom's PC wasn't rebuilt yet and I was able to use that. Then Windows kept on crashing trying to reinstall and I finally got a working PC again. Then the flood came and I needed to scoop up the water out the door since the water comes from the drain in the floor. I hardly sleep; I wake up after around ### to ### hours of sleep and stay awake till around ### am then sleep on and off all day. I wake up having trouble breathing, my neck is swollen, I can't even look down or move my head too much as my jaw hits the lump. And now my mother got sent to the hospital; I will probably take the blame again. Her supposed husband had an argument again over the phone and she was telling me and I tried to tell her he will not change; it's a game since he knows you will forgive him since he behaves for a bit once he sees you are still giving him money then back to treating you bad. Last time my mom got sick and she was asking him for help, he refused her since we are new here we don't know how stuff works here yet. And he kept on insulting my mom; for the first time in my life, I kicked someone out of my house. I told him if you came here to help then help, but if you only came here not to help and insult my mom then you are not welcome here. My mom got sick that time from the same; he was arguing with her and I ended up taking the blame. He laughed at me and said I would like to see how you will get her help. So I went to the store I always go buy food and they got my mom the help she needs. God forgive me if I see things wrong; I don't mean to judge but that is what I see by his actions.
I used to believe everything my mom tells me when it comes to God; for example, God told me to do this, I wouldn't ask anything and just do it. But for the last ### years, I feel like she has been fooling me and makes it hard for me to believe her. It's like the boy who cried wolf. And she tries to tell me the same thing; I got tired of being fooled that I said I would only believe it if God makes my brother tell me like a normal person just like the story in the Bible when God made the mule speak. My brother has severe Down syndrome and he can't talk like a normal person; he is ### years old but it's like a ### year old and talks baby talk and sometimes he can say a few words clear. I would love for God to make things clear to me and to give me wisdom and patience in dealing with my mom as my patience has become very low. I love my mother and I don't want to see her get romanced scammed over and over again and be told this is God's plan. She lost thousands and we almost ended up living on the streets and we ended up moving to ### had to abandon almost everything; I only managed to bring all PC parts in a box inside my huge suitcase and a few clothes. And this supposed-to-be husband lives with the mother of his kids and she spends money on him while we live more poor than when we were in ###. Also, where we moved for the ### time within ### year, new place is torture for me since I have severe allergies can be triggered by smell, touch and there is a lot of trash on the mud road and the smell is starting to bother me and may end up triggering my allergy even in my home sometimes the smell comes in. Also, when we first moved to the first place, I was so happy my health returned and though I can finally be able to work again, but to protect my brother I took the fall on the floor and hit my knee injury and now my returned health is gone and I'm back to the same.
I used to believe everything my mom tells me when it comes to God; for example, God told me to do this, I wouldn't ask anything and just do it. But for the last ### years, I feel like she has been fooling me and makes it hard for me to believe her. It's like the boy who cried wolf. And she tries to tell me the same thing; I got tired of being fooled that I said I would only believe it if God makes my brother tell me like a normal person just like the story in the Bible when God made the mule speak. My brother has severe Down syndrome and he can't talk like a normal person; he is ### years old but it's like a ### year old and talks baby talk and sometimes he can say a few words clear. I would love for God to make things clear to me and to give me wisdom and patience in dealing with my mom as my patience has become very low. I love my mother and I don't want to see her get romanced scammed over and over again and be told this is God's plan. She lost thousands and we almost ended up living on the streets and we ended up moving to ### had to abandon almost everything; I only managed to bring all PC parts in a box inside my huge suitcase and a few clothes. And this supposed-to-be husband lives with the mother of his kids and she spends money on him while we live more poor than when we were in ###. Also, where we moved for the ### time within ### year, new place is torture for me since I have severe allergies can be triggered by smell, touch and there is a lot of trash on the mud road and the smell is starting to bother me and may end up triggering my allergy even in my home sometimes the smell comes in. Also, when we first moved to the first place, I was so happy my health returned and though I can finally be able to work again, but to protect my brother I took the fall on the floor and hit my knee injury and now my returned health is gone and I'm back to the same.