Laworellen
Disciple of Prayer
After I ask for prayer last time my mom changed with me. Then the power outage for 3 days 2 days was about 8h a day and the last was for the whole day. When power came back the motherboard on my PC died thank god my mom's pc wasnt rebuilt yet and I was able to use that. Then Windows kept on crashing trying to reinstall and I finaly got a working pc again. Then the flood came and I needed to scoop up the water out the door since the water comes from the drain in the floor. I hardly sleep i wake up after around 1 to 2 hours of sleep and stay away till around 9 am then sleep on and off all day. I wake up having trouble breathing my neck is swollen I cant even look down or move my head too much as my jaw hits the lump. And now my mother got sent to the hospital I will probaly take the blame again. her supose husband had a argument again over the phone and she was telling me and i try to tell her he will not change its a game since he knows you will forgive him since he behaves for a bit once he see you are still giving him money then back to treating you bad. Last time my mom got sick and she was asking him for help he refused her since we are new here we dont know how stuff work here yet. and he kept on insulting my mom for the first time in my life i kicked someone out of my house. I told him if you came here to help then help but if you only came here not to help and insult my mom then you are not welcome here. my mom got sick that time from same him arguing with her and i ended up taking the blame. he laugh at me and said i would like to see how you will get her help. So i went to the store i allways go buy food and they got my mom the help she needs. God forgive me if i see things wrong i dont mean to judge but that is what i see by his actions.
I used to beleive everything my mom tells me when it comes to god for example god told me to do this i wouldnt ask anything and just do it. But for the last 3 years i feal like she has been fooling me and makes it hard for me to belive her. Its like the boy who cry wolf. And she try to tell me the same thing i got tired of being fooled that i said i would only belive it if god makes my brother tell me like a normal person just like the story in the bible when god made the mule speak. My brother has sevear downsyndrom and he cant talk like a normal person he is 40 years old but its like a 1 year old and talks baby talk and sometimes he can say a few words clear. I would love for god to makes things clear to me and to give me wisdom and paitions in dealing with my mom as my patience has become very low. I love my mother and i dont want to see her get romanced scamed over and over again and be told this is gods plan. She lost thousands and we almost ended up living on the streets and we ended up moving to honduras had to abandon almost everything i only manage to bring all pc parts in a box inside my huge suitcase and a few cloth. and this supose to be husband lives with the mother of his kids and she spends money on him while we live more poor then when we where in Fl. Also where we moved for the 3rd time within 1 year new place is torture for me since i have sevear allergies can be trigger by smell touch and there is a lot of trash on the mud road and the smell is starting to bother me and may end up triggering my allergy even in my home sometimes the smell comes in. Also when we first move to the first place i was so happy my health returned and though i can finaly be able to work again, but to protect my brother i took the fall on the floor and hit my knee injury and now my returned health is gone and im back to the same.
I used to beleive everything my mom tells me when it comes to god for example god told me to do this i wouldnt ask anything and just do it. But for the last 3 years i feal like she has been fooling me and makes it hard for me to belive her. Its like the boy who cry wolf. And she try to tell me the same thing i got tired of being fooled that i said i would only belive it if god makes my brother tell me like a normal person just like the story in the bible when god made the mule speak. My brother has sevear downsyndrom and he cant talk like a normal person he is 40 years old but its like a 1 year old and talks baby talk and sometimes he can say a few words clear. I would love for god to makes things clear to me and to give me wisdom and paitions in dealing with my mom as my patience has become very low. I love my mother and i dont want to see her get romanced scamed over and over again and be told this is gods plan. She lost thousands and we almost ended up living on the streets and we ended up moving to honduras had to abandon almost everything i only manage to bring all pc parts in a box inside my huge suitcase and a few cloth. and this supose to be husband lives with the mother of his kids and she spends money on him while we live more poor then when we where in Fl. Also where we moved for the 3rd time within 1 year new place is torture for me since i have sevear allergies can be trigger by smell touch and there is a lot of trash on the mud road and the smell is starting to bother me and may end up triggering my allergy even in my home sometimes the smell comes in. Also when we first move to the first place i was so happy my health returned and though i can finaly be able to work again, but to protect my brother i took the fall on the floor and hit my knee injury and now my returned health is gone and im back to the same.