Kurati. Deborah
Disciple of Prayer
I'm sorry if I give up some day, I don't know if I can handle anything in my life, I'm not made to handle anything in my life, everything I try to handle it falls no matter what I do to make it stable. I'm sorry if I give up some day it's not because God didn't do anything in my life, God gave me everything and he saved me many a times from all the Satan things humiliating me. I'm sorry if I give up some day, it won't be because of my friends or my family or anyone it's because of my own past mistakes. I'm sorry if I give up some day, in this phase of my life I understood that sometimes Love from your own people can be for appreciation or can be for sympathy or can be just because you are their children or something. I'm sorry if I give up some day, it's not because of anyone on this earth, it's because of the ego and jealousy and hurt I have in me. I'm sorry if I give up some day, the only reason for it would be I never made Jesus and my parents proud of me in my whole life and I can't keep hurting them again and again so I took this step. I'm sorry if I give up someday, it's not because I didn't try for a job I did try in fact I know that I have a little more knowledge than the people who are already working, but it's just I'm not able to wait for God's timing, I'm not a girl who waits for so long, I am like this and I'm not able to ignore myself for this behaviour of mine. I'm sorry if I give up some day, but I'm really a useless shit on this earth. I'm sorry if I give up some day, I hate myself for real. I'm sorry if I give up some day, I done with my life. I'm sorry if I give up some day, I hope Jesus accept me to his world. I'm sorry if I give up some day, I know God won't accept me but I will do my best to ask them to take me before I give up. I'm sorry if I give up some day, to the people in my heart (###, ###, ###, ###, ###) I love you all I'm sorry I couldn't make it, I'm sorry I couldn't take your responsibility seriously. Never be proud of your sister and never learn anything from my life because it was all waste of me. I hope I meet you all in heaven if God accepts me. I hope I just see sun before God throw me in hell. I wrote this letter I don't know why, please pray for me, I'm not getting a job and my home situations are not going good and my heart wants to become spiritual but my mind always makes me choose my own laziness and unspiritual ways. All my friends are getting a good job and are supporting their family and making their parents proud and here I am useless.. I don't know why I'm sending this request but I'm really broke I need Jesus to hear my cry help me.