Anonymous
Beloved of All
School is full of stupid unnecessary drama that is EXTREMELY hard to avoid no matter what. I moved schools due to finance issues and being hated by a whole friend group for no reason, I wanted a new start. Not even half way in to the school there is already a lot of drama especially recent ones that I am involved in. This school is known for being extremely ghetto. Lunch is divided in to 2 different time periods due to how many 8th graders. A majority of my friends that I LOVE and TRUST or some people that I already knew or made me feel welcomed are in 2nd lunch :C I'm in 1st lunch which is the smaller lunch with lesser people and 2 friends that I don't really like because of how much of a bad influence they are towards me. They have been suspended, in fights, on probation and more unordinary things for a 14 YEAR OLD. I really hope that I can have the courage and comfort to open up about this to my new counselor about how I feel extremely uncomfortable arounds these two and been pretending to like them for the absolute LONGEST. I really hope that my counselor would let me switch to 2nd lunch where I have wayyyy better friends that are involved in less drama and have similarities with me. I feel not a single drop of discomfort around them and literally trust them with everything. When I'm around them I sin less and make better choices. Another reason why life has been so hard for me because I'm ugly and It's hard having a crush on someone knowing they probably won't even date you. He looks way better than me and I definetly don't meet his standards at all. Situations like this makes me feel like I'll never be able to find someone like how all these middle school couples are, all because im ugly. ANOTHER reason why life has been so hard for me is because im 13 and ever since my mom got in a car crash in may our finances have been terrible. I've literally been wearing the same clothes and shoes since 6th grade and now I'm in 8th grade. All I want is money to afford clothes. Literally all my friends and cousins have amazing wardrobes and NO this is not jealously, i'm just sad that our family can't even afford food and clothes most of the time because mind you, my mom is a single mom and it has been hard for her being the only one working a job. I also wan't to gain weight because being skinny has also been an insecurity for me and no matter how I adjust my calorie intake it is just so HARD to gain weight. Life just sucks man, this generation sucks, america is controlled by evil worldly leaders and big industry plants like literally the truth is in PLAIN SIGHT, im ugly, i have no money, and i hate the food that my mom cooks ( african food ) everytime i ask her to cook america food she uses the same excuse " I have no money ". I wish you guys knew how tiring african food gets especially because it lasts FOREVER (big portions). MY LIFE IS JUST TERRIBLE!! I wish I wasn't born in this dumb generation with such unacknowledged people and sometimes I think about just being dead to be honest.