Enthusiastic_Kai
Prayer Partner
Hi,
I haven't been in this account for about 390 days. I just had an email sent to me about here, and for the first time. I feel relieved to have made this account in 2015. Currently, I've suffered a lot for the past two years. In 2016, I began to develop some emotional and psychological issues. At 2017, I began to get mental issues as well this year. After finally getting to a hospital, it turns out that I am currently diagnosed with a minor depression and suicidal ideation and it's been hard.
To explain, I've been trying to hold onto God's faith. It's getting harder and harder. I'm losing more friends in my life and my family, after all the times they've supported me begin to turn against me. They begin to think I am acting, they even think they can choose how I think, feel how I feel and even how I should live my life. I am getting lost in my life now.
I am currently getting help, but it's not doing anything. A large feeling of guilt and overwhelming fear keeps growing when I get help. I've even attempted suicide at least 3 times yet failed.
I don't understand what is happening to me and I am losing sight in my Lord, Jesus Christ. I feel like he isn't talking to me anymore. I don't feel his presence when I pray to him like I used to, and my vision gets blurry and it's hard to concentrate on my studies. I feel tearful and guilty and it's making me crazy. I just don't feel like living.
I understand this is a mental health issue, but what I'm worried is that I am losing my faith in my religion. That I am losing my connection with God due to this sickness. That I am losing my hope as well. Ever since my grandfather died and that most of my friends and my parents left and turned against me, I haven't been doing great. It is driving me to attempt suicide again, this time with research on how.
I know this will get wiped in a sea of other prayers, I bet my problem is a pea size compared to everyone else's. But please. If you are reading and you do care, please try to pray for me. It's okay if you don't, I don't want to burden you but if you manage to have that time. I am deeply thankful.
I apologize for getting in your way, I just wanted to let something that I truly felt out. I apologize for getting any of you readers into my problems and concerns.
I haven't been in this account for about 390 days. I just had an email sent to me about here, and for the first time. I feel relieved to have made this account in 2015. Currently, I've suffered a lot for the past two years. In 2016, I began to develop some emotional and psychological issues. At 2017, I began to get mental issues as well this year. After finally getting to a hospital, it turns out that I am currently diagnosed with a minor depression and suicidal ideation and it's been hard.
To explain, I've been trying to hold onto God's faith. It's getting harder and harder. I'm losing more friends in my life and my family, after all the times they've supported me begin to turn against me. They begin to think I am acting, they even think they can choose how I think, feel how I feel and even how I should live my life. I am getting lost in my life now.
I am currently getting help, but it's not doing anything. A large feeling of guilt and overwhelming fear keeps growing when I get help. I've even attempted suicide at least 3 times yet failed.
I don't understand what is happening to me and I am losing sight in my Lord, Jesus Christ. I feel like he isn't talking to me anymore. I don't feel his presence when I pray to him like I used to, and my vision gets blurry and it's hard to concentrate on my studies. I feel tearful and guilty and it's making me crazy. I just don't feel like living.
I understand this is a mental health issue, but what I'm worried is that I am losing my faith in my religion. That I am losing my connection with God due to this sickness. That I am losing my hope as well. Ever since my grandfather died and that most of my friends and my parents left and turned against me, I haven't been doing great. It is driving me to attempt suicide again, this time with research on how.
I know this will get wiped in a sea of other prayers, I bet my problem is a pea size compared to everyone else's. But please. If you are reading and you do care, please try to pray for me. It's okay if you don't, I don't want to burden you but if you manage to have that time. I am deeply thankful.
I apologize for getting in your way, I just wanted to let something that I truly felt out. I apologize for getting any of you readers into my problems and concerns.
