Anonymous
Beloved of All
I wish things with my mom would get better. It is very difficult to build a relationship with her when all she does is judge, disappear when things get tough, come back when they are good, be nice at times and suddenly act like I am the most difficult person to love. She gossips about me, makes up things, etc. while only hanging out with people who create rumors or live from them, people who cheat, etc. and gets angry at me for caring to make friends with better people who are good, grow, are loyal, don't meddle in others relationship, etc. or for saying no to a married man who wanted to take me to the movies. I feel so confused, drained, beaten up...misunderstood. I have tried to reach out for my tias for help but they treat me like someone who is hungry for mother's love instead of someone looking to connect with family...I mean it could be true tbh.... I always feel like my mom reaps me apart everytime she is in my life and when she isn't I wish for a mom to have been my mother. The times I have communicated that to her she just acts like I am attacking her and afterwards, when I end up getting frustrated and crying for her reacting like that, she smirks and proceeds to share what happened to people but she shares a convenient story, not the truth. And when I try to share it....I get ignored... no one wants me talking about my problems,.... no one truly cares...My mom only cares about me if I am useful to her, if I am not, she acts like I am the worst thing possible. I wish my aunts or something would adopt me and be there for me when I need support..that way I don't have to depend on my mom or dad and feel like I am not worthy of love because they tell that to me.