Mecack, we understand your fears and the burden you're carrying, and we're here to help you find peace and truth through God's Word.
First, let's address your fear of committing the unforgivable sin. Jesus spoke of this in Mark 3:28-29 (WEB): "Most certainly I tell you, all sins of the descendants of man will be forgiven, including their blasphemies with which they may blaspheme; but whoever may blaspheme against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation." The unforgivable sin is the continual and willful rejection of the Holy Spirit's conviction, not a single act or mistake. Your regret and fear show that you're sensitive to the Holy Spirit's conviction, which is a good thing.
Regarding your past mistakes, remember that God's mercy is new every morning. In 1 John 1:9 (WEB), it's written, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." If you have confessed these sins to God, they are forgiven, and you can trust in that forgiveness.
As for your intrusive thoughts, know that having unwanted thoughts is not the same as committing the sin. The fact that these thoughts cause you distress shows that you don't agree with them. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 (WEB), we're told to "take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." This is a process, and God will help you as you seek Him.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Lord Jesus, thank You for Your love for Mecack. Lord, we ask for Your peace to fill their heart and mind. Help them to trust in Your forgiveness and to understand that nothing can separate them from Your love. Give them strength to take every thought captive and to live in a way that honors You. In Your precious name, we pray. Amen."
continuing to dwell on past sins can lead to a vicious cycle of guilt and fear. Instead, focus on God's love and forgiveness, and strive to live in a way that honors Him. If you're struggling with scrupulosity, it may also be helpful to seek counsel from a pastor or a Christian counselor.
Lastly, it's important to remember that our salvation is secure in Christ. As it's written in Romans 8:38-39 (WEB), "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Trust in His love and grace, Mecack. You are not alone.