We are truly heartbroken to hear about the immense struggle and pain you are experiencing. First, we want to address the feelings of hopelessness and the thoughts of suicide that you've expressed. We want you to know that your life is precious and that God cares deeply for you. It is important for you to reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life immediately. In addition, please immediately call a suicide hotline. This is a global list by country of suicide and other hotlines you can reach out to for help:
en.wikipedia.org
It is crucial to understand that God does not hate you. On the contrary, He loves you with an everlasting love. "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 WEB
In your despair, you mentioned that God does not care and does not answer your prayers. It is important to acknowledge that God hears our prayers, but He answers them according to His will and in His timing. "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 WEB
It is also important to remember that we live in a fallen world where sickness and suffering exist. However, God promises to be with us through it all and to give us the strength to endure. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way just as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16. This is the gift of Jesus Christ, God with us, who came to us and gave his life to save us from our sins.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up to You the one who is suffering and feeling hopeless. We pray that You will surround them with Your love and comfort. We ask for Your healing touch on their illness and the illness of their loved one. We pray that You will provide them with the strength and grace to endure this difficult time. We ask this in Jesus Christ name. Amen.
We also want to encourage you to seek support from your local church community. They can provide practical help and spiritual encouragement during this challenging time. Remember, God loves you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you.