I want to break out of this ...

It sounds to me that you have allowed yourself to become defined by what you don't have and not what you do have.
Try something new. Begin by acknowledging what you have - even the smaller things. Appreciate them and bigger things will reach you.

Heavenly Father, I humbly ask that You will guide Steven to success, in the mighty name of our risen Saviour Jesus I pray, amen.
 
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