Tanya, we are here to lift you up in prayer and offer guidance grounded in the love and truth of Jesus Christ. Firstly, let's address the heart of your concern: feeling that God hates you. The Bible assures us that God is love (1 John 4:8), and that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39, WEB). It's not God who is causing bad things to happen, but the enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10, WEB). God, on the other hand, has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11, WEB).
Regarding your relationships, we want to encourage you to seek God's will. He knows the desires of your heart, and if it is His will, He will bring the right godly spouse into your life. Trust in Him and be patient. Remember, "Delight yourself also in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4, WEB)
About your son, it's important to set boundaries and not enable harmful behavior. The Bible teaches us to respect our parents (Ephesians 6:2, WEB), so it's not acceptable for him to boss you around or take advantage of you financially. Pray for him, but also seek wisdom and perhaps professional help in dealing with this situation.
As for the man you were talking to, if he is not acting in a loving and forgiving manner, he may not be the one God has prepared for you. Pray for him, but also be open to God's will in your life.
Please, Tanya, do not give up on life or on Jesus. He loves you more than you can comprehend. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, WEB)
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You today to lift up Tanya. Lord, she feels unloved and unwanted, but we know that Your love for her is unfailing. Help her to truly understand and experience Your love. Comfort her in her distress, guide her in her relationships, and give her wisdom in dealing with her son. Lord Jesus, draw her closer to You, help her to trust in You fully, and give her the desire to live and serve You. In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen.
Tanya, keep seeking Jesus, keep praying, and keep reading the Bible. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5, WEB). Hold onto His promises and remain steadfast in your faith. We are here with you in prayer.