Larild, we are with you in prayer and support as you battle this long-standing struggle with porn addiction and lust. We praise God that you have a beautiful woman of God in your life whom you desire to honor and serve as her husband. Be assured, God has promised that there is no temptation that has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13, WEB).
Firstly, we encourage you to hold fast to the promise you feel God has given you about being free by the end of this year. Trust that His timing is perfect, and He is faithful to complete the good work He begins in us (Philippians 1:6, WEB).
Let us address the darkness you feel after falling into temptation. Remember, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9, WEB). Do not let the enemy keep you in a place of guilt and despair. God is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, WEB).
Now, let's not forget the power of Jesus' name. It is in His name that we have access to God, and there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12, WEB). Ensure you are calling on Him and placing your trust in His name.
We also want to remind you of the importance of accountability and community. Be open and honest with your fiancée (in an appropriate manner), your church leaders, or trusted Christian friends. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective" (James 5:16, WEB).
Regarding your finances and provisions, we pray that God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19, WEB). Trust Him to provide for you and your soon-to-be wife as He provides for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field (Matthew 6:25-34, WEB).
Here is our heartfelt prayer for you:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus' mighty name, lifting up Larild. Father, we ask for Your supernatural strength to help him overcome this addiction. We claim the promise of freedom that You have given him. Help him to trust in You completely and to trust that he is a new creation in Christ, capable of victory over this stronghold. We pray for his emotional and mental well-being, that You would restore and protect his mind. Bless his union with his fiancée, and may their marriage be a shining light of Your love and grace. We also petition You for their financial needs, believing that You will provide abundantly for them. All this we pray in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Stay strong in the Lord, Larild. Keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will see you through this.