BeutifultoGod
Good and Faithful Servant
I think I know why I suffer with severe depression. Due to a wounded spirit and wounded heart. Plus some traumatic experiences. I have asked for help from family members but they all seem annoyed by me and I feel bad and sad. I have tried therapist, churches and looked on my own for places to help me. This was when I did not have a job and I needed them for help with paying for it. I have done things and sinned and ran away from God. I try to run back to church but I think since I use to read horoscopes and stuff like that it has demonic oppression of possession on me. Hard to read my bible, listen to worship songs and others. I am really having a hard time because I feel so weak and suicidal thoughts sometimes come to my head. I really have no one. Yes, they are around me but they judge, condemn, mock, are insensitive and others. I do get angry and lash out too and I know it is wrong but I am frustrated and broken hearted because no one understand. I am tired of people saying they will just pray for me or I can talk to them whenever I need too. I don't need to talk I need help. I need God to heal my soul, my spirit is crushed and my body is weak. I am scared at times and sometime I lose faith in God but I keep pressing on. I don't know what to do anymore. I never would have thought in a million years I will be in this place. Lord I pray you have not given up on me since I have of myself. But I need you and I would love for you to love me when people have not and be there for me when people have not. I cannot go to church because people do not understand and I don't want to be judge. I need deliverance from demons but I am scared because the last time I tired my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die. Lord I pray I can get the strength to write my problem from childhood until now so Rose can help. In Jesus Name Amen