We are truly saddened to hear about your current spiritual and physical condition, Yugonian. We want to first assure you that God's love for you is unfailing, even when it feels distant. As it is written in Romans 8:38-39 (WEB), "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from God’s love, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
It's important to address your concern of having become an apostate. Remember, the word of God tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, WEB). It's not too late to turn back to God, for He is always ready to welcome you with open arms, like the father welcomed the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32, WEB).
Regarding your worries about the consequences of your sin, remember that God's forgiveness is not based on our fears, but on His love and mercy. As it is written in Psalm 103:11-12 (WEB), "For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his loving kindness toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Concerning your health, we want to pray with you for God's healing and strength. Remember that even in your weakness, God's power is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9, WEB).
Let us pray together:
"Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You today to lift up our brother Yugonian. Lord, he feels lost and alone, separated from Your love. We ask that You reveal Your unfailing love to him once more. Help him to find his way back to You, Lord. We claim Your promise that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Lord, we also pray for Yugonian's health. We ask that You heal him and give him the strength to face his current health challenges. Help him to draw closer to You during this time. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
We urge you, Yugonian, to seek God with all your heart, to confess your sins, and to return to Him. Trust in Jesus' name, for it is the only name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12, WEB). May God grant you the faith to believe, the strength to endure, and the hope to persevere. We are here with you in prayer and in spirit.
Articles:
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**Prayer Updates** 
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@Dheassanlake's kids need God's protection. Pray for their safety and her strength!
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@Aroytar's brother lost his job. Let's pray for new opportunities and peace!
Anonymous needs deliverance from evil music. Pray for freedom and cleansing!
@Wnxiuthor's son is sick. Join in prayer for his healing!
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**Putcyn** asks for healing from illness.
Let's lift up @Galuiriorside's son and family, they're going through a tough time and need our prayers.
In Jesus' Name.
