Honly
Humble Prayer Partner
I thank you for everything, another day, thank you for Bristol is better and can walk. God but I have not yet learnt to accept my fate and my days with calm and serenity. I still feel that I lack something. I have no idea Lord what it is. Maybe Lord if you reveal to me that the rest of my days will be spent in isolation like this, I will accept it. But Lord is this what you want. Father for this is not what I desire as I see no light at the end of the tunnel. However, if this is my calling I will have to accept it with Grace, though Lord please please don’t leave me hanging. Lord, I thank Mary further reaching me the Bible and being so patient with me for so many days. I now know that she is upset with me because I still have faith in Amma. Besides Lord she is a happily placed family woman. So Lord I am happy that she has so much to do and so many people to talk to. Forgive me Lord for being angry with her. She is a very good person. Lord she has been with me through thick and thin and will stand by me as long as I am true to Christianity. Lord you tell me if I believe in you and also Amma as a saint & not as God. For me there is one Father that is you & Amma is Mother. God is there not just one God who preaches all that you preach per the scriptures? Father I am confused. Please throw sone light. Father after I started praying to you my circumstances have changed. I am now much better off with your Grace, but Lord is Alpha my calling? If so can KMN give me a better & more lasting job. Lord did I force this job out of him which is why he was giving me such a lousy designation? Am I not supposed to worry about these things anymore? Lord I have so many anxieties that I have pushed to the back of my mind, but they remain there. I have placed them at your deep Lord. Please please help them get sorted out. Lord I need to have full faith in you. I need to surrender to you please help me do that. I love you Lord and I cherish you. Father my praying to you has caused a difference in my circumstances. Father please guide me because when Bristol is not there my intention is to live in the ashram where Amma is a saint and Hindu deities are worshipped as is Lord Jesus though with less fervour. Father I am lost, please guide me. Father please let this anxiety and fear of abandonment I have go and let me able to lead a satisfied life without any vaccum. Sone love from anyone would be appreciated be it anyone Lord. Lord forgive me for all my sins and let me not have any ill will towards either Mary or Rupa or Diksha but shower your blessings upon them. Father forgive me for my sins and let me forgive all those who have sinned against me. I love you Lord and please please give me the ability to accept all the trials and tribulations that you have put in front of me in my stride knowing that you will pull me out in due course and show me light at the end of the tunnel. I praise thee Lord & I love you In Jesus’s name Amen.