Dear iamBAT,
there are many things to deal with in your case. First the SPIRIT OF REJECTION (feed on scriptures on Gods love for you-search on the internet), REBELLION, some EVIL MARK on you in the spirit (rebuke it in Jesus name!!), you must repent for your anger at God and for all the sins of your ancestors (obviously is this some kind generational or ancestral curse), but just in case you must repent of all known sins and unknown sins that Holy spirit show you. You will easily do it when you go on you tube and watch the video BONDAGE BREAKING SCRIPTURE VIDEO. Its more then powerfull!! Listen to the anointed music, read out loud scriptures, stop the video when you like to do your intimate prayer or to repent. START YOUR DAY WITH THIS VIDEO. God loves us all but when we repent we humble ourselves and make it possible for the Holy spirit to work in our lives in our souls, minds and also to remove all consequences of our sins and sins of our ancestors. Perhaps you have also problem with pride (see if your ancestors or parents had this problem and then break it, ask God to cleanse you from it with the blood of Jesus). THE BLOOD OF JESUS is powerfull thing, use it and especially this BONDAGE BREAKING PRAYER every, every day...
And this prayer proclamation is just for you: LET THE WARRIOR ANGELS OF THE LIVING GOD PURSUE MY PURSUERS, ATTACK MY ATTACKERS AND DISTROY MY DISTROYERS IN JESUS NAME. (These are spiritual and not physical ennemies).
Read your Bible (at least 1 chapter in the morning), worship the Lord (listen f.ex. video McClurkin "DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU", BE IN THE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE (dont forget about this-this will keep you from murmuring, complaining and pride/anger at God). God is good and the devil is bad. This bad situation is caused by the devil!! Now you have the picture and do what i told you, in other case it will be only worse....It is not to late, it is never to late...God is a God of grace and mercy. He forgives you and love you, repenting is good for you - God have made us so that we are dependable of Him. If we are rebellious/proudful we show him that we dont need Him...If you do all of this and you dont have a humble attitude towards God its all invain..Please try it...
God loves you and we all love you, we want good for your life...I am sure when you do this every day in 2,3 weeks you will see results...
Natasha