Amen, Dawn1! Trusting Jesus for peace at work (Phil 4:6-7), financial breakthroughs (Phil 4:19), & relationship restoration (Mal 4:6). Believing for Phaerfard's healing & family support (Matt 7:7). In Jesus' name! 
**Prayer Update!** 
Let's lift up **
Hello I hope everyone's doing well it's been a while since I've posted on here. I think the first prayer request I wrote on here was probably months ago. I'm here back with another one. I don't think this request is any different from the last one I posted. I just need to be lifted in prayer. I'm going through a lot right now with my health my finances and spiritual attacks. I have a friend who I do prayer sessions with we're doing the best we can. Sometimes I get so discouraged because I just feel like all my life I've just been losing and having things taken from me. I just recently looked at some pictures of me when I was a little girl and I don't remember the last time I genuinely smiled like that. I cried so much looking at those childhood pictures because that was a time I was truly happy.
I don't feel happy anymore too much has gone on I've lost so much I feel like I'm losing this battle at times I feel like there's no way out I deal with mental health issues as well. Sometimes I don't get along with my family I once in a while get into a huge fights with them.
And I'm just sitting here thinking to myself I'm not a person that ever expected much in life just a simple life I never asked for much you know. So why me?
Why am I being tormented like this? I'm not saying I'm perfect I've made my fair share mistakes. But I just feel like I'm paying Bad Karma for something. And it's not fair. I've been trying my best with the spiritual knowledge I do have and I just feel like sometimes my prayers don't pay off sometimes I feel like God doesn't hear me or he's ignoring me sometimes I may feel like he's talking to me and then I feel like it may be my mental problems that are speaking to me or my wishful thinking. And not him. It hurts because I never expected much I never asked for much I just wanted a happy quiet simple life and things are so complicated I have a teenage daughter who has problems of her own and sometimes I don't even get along with her and I'm trying to figure out what's going on and what's wrong with her. It's just heartbreaking. I've been the victim of false friendships of women doing witchcraft against me.
Now there's a lot of people who don't believe in it but trust me from personal experience I know it's real. And I just don't understand why are people jealous of me I don't have nothing going on in life for anyone to be jealous of but yet people are jealous of me because of the dreams I share with them that I want. Life is very unbearable and sometimes I get suicidal thoughts. And I tell myself I shouldn't have to die to find peace. I don't feel like death should always be the solution to every answer. And I'm saying that because I'm dealing with chronic health problems and it's like the doctors don't even know what it is I've been dealing with chronic throat problems for several years and it just seems to be getting worse and I'm just feeling like I'm losing hope and I've just lost faith. Telling me to have faith is too much to ask for I've lost too much since I was a little girl and that's all I felt like I've been experiencing life is loss and things being taken away from me. Why? People can say they pray for this if they want to but if you're truly glad to pray on this then do so and I'm not talking about some little prayer I need some spiritual warfare prayers to pray on my behalf because my situation is very serious. Like I need a spiritual team who specializes on being on the Forefront of this battlefield.
I just want some answers some confirmations some type of comfort that everything is going to be all right because to be quite honest even though I try to tell myself everything is going to be all right and I'm going to make it out of this and all honesty I truly don't know. I'm just mentally drained and heartbroken and all I've been doing is crying. Life has not been kind to me for a very long time and I hate it. By the time I became a teenager I had went through so much already and somehow I managed to keep a smile on my face and tried to stay optimistic But as time went on I became a angry hateful person filled with bitterness when I look in the mirror I hate what I see the depression is in my eyes I just don't feel like the same happy person anymore even as a teenager I started turning to things that I shouldn't have for comfort biggest one is food so I started to gain weight. I've been battling with overweight for years now especially after I had my daughter. I just begin using unhealthy things to fill the void. I got into a huge fight with family a few days ago which led to a nervous breakdown and causing Suicidal Thoughts to come in my head something I thought would go away. A part of me wants to hold on to life because maybe there is this small Ray of Hope left. But then there's this other side of me that wonders what is life worth living if the only thing you're experiencing is hurt pain and disappointment and despair and lack and poverty in every area of your life? And being told to endure to the end so at least I can have those things in heaven. But that's the thing I should have a right to experience true happiness on Earth and for whatever reason I feel like I've been denied that experience.
I'm just tired!
I don't feel happy anymore too much has gone on I've lost so much I feel like I'm losing this battle at times I feel like there's no way out I deal with mental health issues as well. Sometimes I don't get along with my family I once in a while get into a huge fights with them.
And I'm just sitting here thinking to myself I'm not a person that ever expected much in life just a simple life I never asked for much you know. So why me?
Why am I being tormented like this? I'm not saying I'm perfect I've made my fair share mistakes. But I just feel like I'm paying Bad Karma for something. And it's not fair. I've been trying my best with the spiritual knowledge I do have and I just feel like sometimes my prayers don't pay off sometimes I feel like God doesn't hear me or he's ignoring me sometimes I may feel like he's talking to me and then I feel like it may be my mental problems that are speaking to me or my wishful thinking. And not him. It hurts because I never expected much I never asked for much I just wanted a happy quiet simple life and things are so complicated I have a teenage daughter who has problems of her own and sometimes I don't even get along with her and I'm trying to figure out what's going on and what's wrong with her. It's just heartbreaking. I've been the victim of false friendships of women doing witchcraft against me.
Now there's a lot of people who don't believe in it but trust me from personal experience I know it's real. And I just don't understand why are people jealous of me I don't have nothing going on in life for anyone to be jealous of but yet people are jealous of me because of the dreams I share with them that I want. Life is very unbearable and sometimes I get suicidal thoughts. And I tell myself I shouldn't have to die to find peace. I don't feel like death should always be the solution to every answer. And I'm saying that because I'm dealing with chronic health problems and it's like the doctors don't even know what it is I've been dealing with chronic throat problems for several years and it just seems to be getting worse and I'm just feeling like I'm losing hope and I've just lost faith. Telling me to have faith is too much to ask for I've lost too much since I was a little girl and that's all I felt like I've been experiencing life is loss and things being taken away from me. Why? People can say they pray for this if they want to but if you're truly glad to pray on this then do so and I'm not talking about some little prayer I need some spiritual warfare prayers to pray on my behalf because my situation is very serious. Like I need a spiritual team who specializes on being on the Forefront of this battlefield.
I just want some answers some confirmations some type of comfort that everything is going to be all right because to be quite honest even though I try to tell myself everything is going to be all right and I'm going to make it out of this and all honesty I truly don't know. I'm just mentally drained and heartbroken and all I've been doing is crying. Life has not been kind to me for a very long time and I hate it. By the time I became a teenager I had went through so much already and somehow I managed to keep a smile on my face and tried to stay optimistic But as time went on I became a angry hateful person filled with bitterness when I look in the mirror I hate what I see the depression is in my eyes I just don't feel like the same happy person anymore even as a teenager I started turning to things that I shouldn't have for comfort biggest one is food so I started to gain weight. I've been battling with overweight for years now especially after I had my daughter. I just begin using unhealthy things to fill the void. I got into a huge fight with family a few days ago which led to a nervous breakdown and causing Suicidal Thoughts to come in my head something I thought would go away. A part of me wants to hold on to life because maybe there is this small Ray of Hope left. But then there's this other side of me that wonders what is life worth living if the only thing you're experiencing is hurt pain and disappointment and despair and lack and poverty in every area of your life? And being told to endure to the end so at least I can have those things in heaven. But that's the thing I should have a right to experience true happiness on Earth and for whatever reason I feel like I've been denied that experience.
I'm just tired!
