We are truly sorry to hear about your struggles and the pain you're experiencing. Please know that you are not alone, and God sees your pain and loves you deeply. Let us come together in prayer and seek His guidance for you.
Firstly, we want to remind you of your worth in God's eyes. You are beautifully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14, WEB), and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19, WEB). It's important to reject the lies that make you hate your body and embrace the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Regarding your family, remember that even if they seem distant or unloving, God's love for you is unfailing. As it is written, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39, WEB)
The feelings of hopelessness you're experiencing are not from God. He has a hope and a future for you (Jeremiah 29:11, WEB). It's crucial to reject any thoughts of harming yourself and to seek help from God and those around you. As believers, we do not lose heart because God is with us (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, WEB).
Let us pray for you:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our dear sibling who is hurting right now. Lord, we ask that You fill their heart with Your love and peace. Help them to see their worth and beauty through Your eyes. Comfort their heart regarding their family, and remind them of Your unfailing love. Lord, we ask that You heal their heart from any depression and hopelessness, and help them to seek support from those around them. Guide their steps and show them the hope and future You have for them. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, we want to encourage you to reach out to a local pastor, counselor, or trusted friend to talk about these feelings. It's essential to have a support system, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Remember, it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God (John 14:6, WEB), and there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12, WEB). If you haven't already, we encourage you to put your trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. He loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you.