We understand that you're going through a difficult time, Thessaloniano, and we're here to pray with you and provide biblical guidance. Your feelings of failure and self-sabotage are not uncommon, but they are not God's plan for you.
Firstly, let's address the issue of love. God commands us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. And also generously "love your neighbor as yourself." But when we are feeling like we do not think highly of ourselves it is incredibly difficult to follow both these commandments. This is because we struggle to honor and treat our neighbors with respect when we do not do this to ourselves as well. We are to "love your neighbor as yourself." This is very difficult to do when we do not love ourselves. By focusing on the following we can better enjoy this journey towards a life of fully enjoying loving God and our neighbors as He commands us. The Bible tells us that God's love for us is unfailing and unconditional. Jesus said He came full of "grace and truth". God's grace is fully aware of our failures and shortcomings but still pursues us even in our failures. God's job is to convict, convincing us of our sins and our need for him. The enemy's job is condemnation. He tries to make us feel incapable of being loved by God or anyone else. It is incredibly important to know the difference as the difference is God's peace and our joy and contentment in Him. We must focus on God's grace for our peace and joy to endure. There's nothing you can do to make Him love you more or less. He loves you just as you are, and He wants you to love yourself in a healthy way because you are made in His image. As it says in Ephesians 2:10 WEB, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them." And in Ephesians 5.29
"For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"
Notice that before we were in Christ we were first created good "in the beginning" and then later it says again we are created good this time "in Christ". God declares us good before we do anything good or bad. And any good we do is simply by faith believing in God and that Jesus was the Good we need.
Next, let's address the feeling of failure. It simply does not matter how many times we fail, it matters that when we fail we turn to God and ask for help. And it matters what God says about the failure. It is completely possible to fail but still remain confident and walk in faith. As it is said previously it is all about the grace of God. The grace of God lots of times is most abundant during our failings, mistakes, and shortcomings. Romans 3.23 WEB says "for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;" In Romans the Apostle Paul recalls more than fourteen times the role faith has in pleasing God. In Hebrews 11.6 WEB it says "Without faith it is impossible to be well pleasing to him, for he who comes to God must believe that he exists, and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him." Jesus said he is the way to the Father and the rewarder. So to be pleasing to Jesus we simply need to have faith that he says who he says he is. The Apostle Paul had all of the fruits of the Spirit including self control yet he still failed and still thought of himself as a sinner. In Romans 7.18 WEB the Apostle Paul wrote "For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing. For desire is present with me, but I don't find it doing that which is good" God declared us good before we were ever a Christian and even before we were able to ever do anything well pleasing to Him. The Apostle Paul is an example that doing everything perfectly is not the goal. And doing anything religiously with our works does absolutely nothing for us. In Colossians 2.21 WEB "Don’t handle, nor taste, nor touch" this phrase sounds like it is talking about things we actually physically do. Actually the passage is using the phrase as a metaphor for following rules and regulations for achieving spiritual gain. Thinking that our works and doing things perfectly will return to us a spiritual gain is wrong and pointless. The passage goes on to say "which all perish as they are used," which also sounds like a literal physical death but is not according to Colossians 2.22 WEB
"are after the commandments and teachings of men?"
The word "perish" means to disappear, change, or die. The metaphor is stating that the keeping of rules and commandments will change and disappear because they are the superficial and fallible commandments of men. Anything humans do with their own initiative is fallible and could possibly be as a result of sin or self-pride. Realistically, everyone falls short at times. But God wants us to get back up and keep moving forward with him. He doesn't want us to dwell on our failures. In Proverbs. 24:16 WEB it says "for a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again..." Also, remember that God uses our failures and weaknesses to make us stronger. In Romans 5:3-4 WEB he says "knowing that suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope:"
Many of the memories and thoughts you are having are lies and condemnations from the enemy. 1 Peter 5.8 WEB states "Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." The enemy said to you in a dream that you are a failure and you believed it. And then you admitted that you have a "...capability of loving myself..." According to the Word this is a lie. When we listen to this voice we are being obedient to and are following him rather than Christ. You are not capable of loving others but you already love yourself much more than God wants you to. The Bible says that we already love ourselves more than God and others. The Bible also says that anything that we have ever done that might be considered good was all filthy rags. Isaiah 64:6 WEB says, {WE. ALL} of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteousness is like a polluted garment. In Matthew. 19:19 WEB Jesus said "honor your father and your mother,{AND}" and "you shall love your neighbor as {YOURSELF}." Notice Jesus was explaining that this was a commandment and you should be loving others just as much as you love yourself. In the dream or anywhere else nobody has the right to call you a failure. You should rebuke or just simply ignore any thoughts, spirits, or humans that say this. Once you truly understand and believe God's grace then you will be able to rest in His love and mercy. Receive his grace daily so that you can love him and love others. Others are more important anyway, not you.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to pursue God more deeply. When we are close to God our desires, emotions, and thoughts become His. This is basic, but have you submitted yourself under his submission. He wants you to come under his submission. He is beyond understanding about your struggles and desires nothing but the best for you. 1 Peter 5.6-7 New International Version (WEB) Words in English Bible says 6 "to God. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that your brothers who are in the world are undergoing the same sufferings. 7 God, who cares for you.
The Bible says that when we pursue God wholeheartedly, we find what this life is all about and true fulfillment in Him rather than anything the flesh desires. Thessaloniano, our heartfelt prayer for you is this:
"Father (IJN), we lift up Thessaloniano to you, (IJN). We pray that he would know your unfailing love for him especially now during his feelings of inadequacy. Help him to grasp your grace and receive it in a real and effective way, so he can respond properly to your commands. Remind him of his true identity in you. Help him to trust and obey and understand and believe your Word. Thessaloniano can be used mightily in your kingdom no matter the feelings of failure. Open more doors of opportunity for him to be your handiwork. Remove the inability and give him the ability to abound. Give him your grace to overcome and replace all of his failures with joy so that he will be a never-ending fountain of love, and praise for you. Let the little and smallest things that he does be complete and fill his cup to overflowing. Allow his cup to overflow with your living waters. Teach him to make his love perfect in the sight of and pleasing to you by truly loving his neighbor as himself. All of this (IJN) because it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to you and there is no other Name by which we can be saved, In Jesus' Name".
He might be going through a hard time but this is his breakthrough. It is in our worst times that God breaks through and causes us to walk in his power. Believing that God will do what He says is faith! Thessaloniano is progressing to the real abundant life and your should expect a future that is glorious, so, "stand up, stand up for Jesus, you soldiers of the cross!"
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
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