Ifgen
Humble Servant of All
I pray for healing spiritually, mentally, and physically. I pray for great health, a new home, a new car, and a new iPhone. I pray to be healed from my past and to be forgiven for all of my past sins. I haven't been honest about things and even was traveling around to different towns and I would visit hospitals because I felt like something was wrong with me. My private area and my feet used to feel strange to me and strange things used to happen to me when I would be walking. I felt very uncomfortable and not like myself. I've said some things about people and haven't been feeling like myself. I had problems for a while and I've been stressed out. I pray for healing. I pray to get back to myself and for my health to heal. I feel like ever since I came back from my aunt's house, I haven't been myself. My cousin was jealous of me and she used to make me feel uncomfortable and she would ignore me and the entire family was acting strange to me, even her brother, her mother, and her mother's boyfriend. I felt like they didn't like me and didn't want me over their house and they were saying things about me for a while, especially my aunt's boyfriend. I would see both of them watching me when I got dressed and tried to find a job. They were watching me get my clothes and walk back into the room. I was quiet and not myself and felt the negative energy between the both of them. Even when I would open the door, he would be sitting in the living room waiting for me to come inside. I would hold onto the door knob and my entire hand would be in pain. The door was a metal door, very old school. I just used to talk down on myself and I felt like I shouldn't have let anyone make me talk down on myself. The entire situation was toxic and not okay with me. I pray for healing. I feel like the man upstairs used to move around upstairs and he knew I was laying down in the bed. I could sense someone over me moving around and whenever I would walk into the kitchen, they would be talking aloud while walking in the same direction. I was sitting on the computer sitting down and I could feel them talking to each other and that bothered me. It's like they knew I was sitting in the chair. I felt nervous around them for some strange reason. I felt like they had all their things together and I just felt like I was too good looking to be living with the people I was living with. They used to see me on the porch a lot and said something to me about it. He told me he always sees me on the porch. I didn't have a job or anything to do so I used to sit on the porch because I felt like my cousin would watch me all the time and she would be listening through the walls. I remember I was walking and I turned on the light; she moved her hand at the same time. I feel like maybe that's how I got the pinched nerve in my hand, but it also was a situation I had with the man upstairs from me when I turned the bathroom sink knob. It's like all my nerves disappeared and I couldn't control myself like my brain; something did not seem right. I haven't been myself ever since. I would walk back and forth all over the house trying to get better. It was very bad and now I sleep a lot. I just put myself in bent up positions when I sleep. I fear the sheets touching my skin and my head laying down on the pillow or my feet hitting the sheets or moving my body around. I would usually sleep in one position and one man asked me, "Was I ok?" He saw me sitting down at the park and I had my arm down for a while and I didn't move or get up. Him and his girlfriend ended up calling the hospital for me and my uncle who I was staying with at the time. He was telling them that I had anxiety and to send me to the hospital. I felt like he didn't know what to do with me and I was stressing him out so he just told them to take me to the hospital. I feel hopeless and confused as to why this was happening to me. I'm a good person. I said something that was bad and felt guilty about it and my life has changed ever since for the worse. I just feel like I said something that I should not have said and it haunts me every day because now this person is not here; he's gone. I felt sorry and guilty as if it was my fault that he died all of a sudden and I'm not a mean person so that bothered me and it still does. I pray that I can heal from the guilt I feel with this person who passed away. It bothers me and makes my stomach crawl. I didn't feel like being here and I never felt that way before. I pray that this feeling of guilt goes away and that I can heal and see the situation for what it is and grow. I went through a lot with this guy and I just feel as if he didn't like me and I just was being true to myself. My family tried to put him over me, telling him lies about me, saying I don't work or never worked before and that I don't help out. He used to call me names. He would call me weird and he would mistreat me and tell my mother lies about me to the point it bothered me. I pray that I can heal from those things that he put me through and get back to myself. It's been almost three years now. I've been in and out of mental hospitals because of this man but not just him; it was my mother who would stress me out. I felt like she was against me and she moved him inside the house without telling me and that bothered me. I'm a young lady so for a grown man to be staying with us bothered me. I don't know him that well to be staying with him and he tried to dominate his presence and I felt not like myself. He was hostile and aggressive and that bothered me. My mother would act like she didn't want me to be around him. She would be staring and rolling her eyes doing a whole bunch of things when I would be talking to him and that made me very uncomfortable. I always felt like she was intimidated and threatened by me and sometimes I felt like she wanted me to suffer and she do things with her body. The lady who came to my house and gave me medication did things with her private area. The woman who came to my house and she did something with her eyes over the phone. I felt it and my eyes started to feel a certain type of way even with her body in general. I don't like her. She switched up on me. I can feel as if she doesn't like me or as if she thinks negative about me and that bothers me. I pray for healing and that I get back to myself. I don't want this lady to have power over me or to control my body and how I feel. Another lady would stand in front of me and I felt like I should have moved out the way and she kept on bothering me. I don't trust her. I pray for a new home and great health so the enemy doesn't prosper over me. I pray to be forgiven from all of my sins and to heal from feeling hopeless and doubtful about my life. I wasn't taking care of myself. It just feels hard to do small things like shower or brush my teeth. I feel afraid or like those things don't matter as much and I used to always take care of myself. I pray to get back to myself and to grow and heal. I let myself go but my body doesn't feel normal. I feel useless and unladylike. I don't even feel flirtatious like I used to. I used to always take care of myself and enjoyed it. I pray to get back to myself. I don't want to have problems with my private areas or my body in general. I pray that this curse comes off of me because I don't feel like myself and would have never thought that I would be feeling this way. I pray for healing and that God forgives me and that I get back to myself and that I can learn to be more honest with my life path and myself and to stop downing myself and to speak positively of myself and take better care of myself and do better and make better decisions when it comes to relationships and people. I pray that my body heals.