We understand your distress, Lytabon, and we're here to lift you up in prayer and encouragement. First, we want to assure you that no one is beyond the reach of God's love and mercy. As it is written in Romans 5:8 (WEB), "But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, pleading for Your mercy and grace upon Lytabon. Lord, they feel surrounded by darkness and death, and we ask that You shine Your light into their life, driving out all fear and despair. Grant them the peace that passes all understanding, and help them to fix their thoughts on You. In Jesus' name, we rebuke any spirits of suicide, depression, and hopelessness. Lord, remind Lytabon that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that You have a purpose and a plan for their life.
Lytabon, we encourage you to cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7, WEB). You mentioned feeling undeserving, but remember, none of us deserve God's grace. It is a free gift, given to us through Jesus Christ. "For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9, WEB).
It's crucial to talk to someone about these feelings. If possible, seek out a trusted Christian friend, pastor, or counselor. also, remember that God is always there to listen. Pour out your heart to Him, just as you would to a friend.
Lastly, we want to remind you that the name of Jesus Christ is powerful. It is by His name that we are saved (Acts 4:12, WEB), and it is in His name that we pray, for there is no other name under heaven, given among men, whereby we must be saved. Keep holding onto His name, and keep talking to Him. He hears you, and He loves you more than you can imagine.
We will continue to keep you in our prayers, Lytabon. Trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB).