Richie , Jesus is willing to forgive " any " evil that you say that you have done , the bible { God's Holy word to us } tells us that ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God . The enemy of your soul { satan } who the bible tells us comes ONLY to kill , to steal , and to destroy , wants you to believe that there is no hope for you . satan is the father of ALL lies and he wants to take you to hell . Simply talk to God as though you were speaking to a friend , tell Him what is in your heart , ask Him to be your Lord and Savior , if you want REAL peace in knowing where you are going to spend eternity ask for forgiveness of your sins and then repent { turn away from those sins } ask Him to show you how to live for Him . Next find a good church that teaches the entire bible , ask the Lord to open up the bible's meaning to you when you read it , through the bible you will begin to see the very nature of God and learn how He sees His children , and then pray { talk to God every chance you get } Surround yourself with other Christian believers who will encourage your walk with the Lord . You need to understand that God loves YOU so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross and take our judgement of sin upon Himself to reconcile us back to a Holy God . Nothing you have done in your life is so bad that Jesus will not forgive you , simply BELIEVE ! You are in our prayers . Blessings !