Trojan
Disciple of Prayer
I am suffering because of my past and because of my heart. I am suffering I have nothing barely clothes, barely food, barely making it day to day. I am fighting addiction. I'm literally going to school, working side jobs. I'm not causing anybody harm. For some reason I'm to blame for everybody's struggles. I'm watching certain people struggle, I mean I have suffered so long it's to the point where I'm either going to have like I mean I don't even know. My struggles aren't greater than others but they are mighty. I believe in God I believe in the Bible strongly I have for a long time. I'm unsure why I'm "chosen" to die or suffer for others' sins. I once said I would die for this world but I had no understanding that I didn't have to. I didn't understand a lot of the things I was reading. However when I did it made me love people more, it made me want to help more. It made me think differently, and for some reason everybody wants me to turn on God and denounce him. I'm confident in God. I'm confident in the Lord but man I'm running out of strength. I'm running out of fight. I got all this talent and honestly when I pray I pray for the benefit of others too, not every single time. Just because sometimes I just pray for me and my family. Not because I'm selfish but I want God to hear me too, I pray for the body, I pray for overseas, I pray for organizations who don't even like me. I just need help. The game being played with God through me isn't okay. I have lost everything you can imagine. I know the world has turned on me, they will call me crazy, but the truth is I not anyone else deserves this. God said don't judge others or you too will be judged. I pray that people wouldn't judge me for back then. Man my feet are tired, my body is worn out at ### years old my kids love me, and I cannot force anybody to be with me. Please call on the power that you might know I call on God. They used to tell me where there 3 he would come or do something I need something to happen like right now in this moment. I'm okay spiritually.