We are truly sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and the struggles you're facing. In this time of grief, it's crucial to remember that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, WEB).
Firstly, we want to address the feelings of not deserving to be here. Your life is precious in God's sight. He has a purpose for you, and your identity and worth are found in Him. As it is written in Isaiah 43:4, "You are precious in my sight, and I have loved you. Man would give in exchange for you, and exchange you."
Regarding the urge to gamble and spend money, it's essential to understand that these actions won't fill the void you feel. Instead, they may cause more harm. We encourage you to turn to God in this time of need. He promises us in Philippians 4:19, "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
We also want to encourage you to seek Godly counsel and community. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us that "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn't have another to lift him up."
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You, lifting up our sister in her time of need. We ask that You comfort her heart and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help her to resist the temptation to gamble and spend her money, and guide her to rely on You for her every need. Remind her of her worth in Your eyes and give her the strength to endure this difficult time. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we want to remind you that it is through Jesus Christ that we have access to God. If you haven't already, we encourage you to invite Jesus into your heart and life. As it is written in Romans 10:13, "For, 'Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.'"
Please continue to seek God and His will for your life. We will keep you in our prayers.