Pray and read your bible daily and we will join our prayers to yours so that God our heavenly Father does what needs to be done ACCORDING to HIS will and not ours.
I know the right thing to tell you is to try and forgive and let be and shake the dust of your feet and walk on ....etc.... etc.... but I also know it is not always easy plus this person lives with you and this is not enough. Have you tried to discuss in a calm and loving manner all the things that have bothered you in the past and perhpas that might help? Whatever the case keep strong and keep praying.
Father, help our sister to overcome this in Jesus' name.
I have let out many things to her ...but calmly NO I am afraid and I hate that I have become like this...When I was growing up I kept everything inside well into my 40's even about many things I have done a lot of discovery through prayers and therapy.
It seems as if she does not understand it..or is in denial or doesn't remember it and the fact I cannot remember almost my entire childhood makes it hard to reflect on it and express my reasons.....................All I know is that I wanted to die throughout my teens and many time thereafter when was faced with a difficult situations and sometimes I still do now... I don't care it I die tmrw at this point......I cry every day she does not understand me nor understands the impact this had on me growing up because I don't understand it myself
When she left the family to go and live her life with her common law husband and his 5 children ..it was easy for me to be objective about it and carry on best I could...
She would ask me why I speak in a angry tone I have expressed my self over and over about it on the things I do remember........ then she says I repeat myself ..WELL Because she is not hear me or listening and snarkly says I don't have to make a book about it .............always critical and if is not about her it seems she doesn't care about me as a human being!! .....
One time MY mother was trying to console me about my Sister who hates me and was spewing hateful messages to me and my sister has mental problems and addictions in the past and was abused severely as a child and our relationship bad over the years............
I could not accept my mothers hug I told her don't even try to console me about the monster you created in my sister this was all her doing both my parent created this awful messed family unit...........
It was so awkward and I though I was just going to lose it!!!! She still does not get it the deep pain within us!! My Dad at least has tried to educate himself about human nature/depression health related matter and we have become a bit closer and is more open with me ... and he tries to related to me as a person...not just a daughter... You see what I am saying......................
I feel so over wrought with anxiety and I know forgiveness is about me ................but I cannot seem to let go of it this behaviour lately yet I know better and yet I don't care ...I don't understand it....Thank you for you understanding POYLSPANO xoxo God bless you
