Kyngeslonde
Disciple of Prayer
I just need to get this off my chest because my spirit is so overwhelmed. I just wish I could have died years ago before I had a husband and children because I can’t imagine dying and leaving them now, but I wish Jesus would have taken me. I suffer every day with the memories of my life and all the suffering I’ve been through. The suffering in life just never stops, and my husband hates when I talk like this so I’m alone. I don’t know who God is anymore. After my ex, before I met my husband, beat me for three years I lost a lot of faith and relationship with Jesus and trust in Him. When you’re on the ground screaming for Jesus to save you and protect you and no one comes for you. It’s hard to have that same love for God again. Now, my best friend is in an abusive relationship and won’t leave and the suffering is just welling up inside me and JESUS IS SILENT. And he’s letting him hit her like He let my ex hit me and it’s just so much suffering and I just want to scream and scream and scream to make it all stop.