Jesussaves89
Beloved of All
I wish God could help me. I don't want to be here anymore. If anyone knows the Lord, do you please pray for me and my family? I've been praying for years. This is so hard. I'm getting angry. Haven't left the house in years. My mother, who has severe control issues, controls my life, and I care for my bedridden grandma 24/7 in a foreign country. I have so many health issues. Yesterday, I was very angry. I asked God for a husband. I asked God for help. I don't want to live anymore. I'm so tired of always having to adhere to my mother's schedule and her lack of understanding. I'm so tired of the health issues, and my grandma is in constant suffering. She hasn't opened her eyes in years and has severe diarrhea all day, every day. It's poop cleaning day. I wish I could go for a walk. Haven't shown anyone in years. I'm really tired of being tired and alone and frustrated as a caregiver. I don't take care of myself. I'm so depressed. I've had friends in years. I pray all the time, but nothing helps. I wish I was never born. It's too hard. I'm so lonely. I don't know what to do. No one ever cares. Please pray that God cares because I'm losing it. I'm losing it, and I don't know. I don't want to lose it. But I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of all the illness and loneliness and suffering. There is never a good day. Only when I have to clean less poop. I'm tired and lonely. I asked God to heal my grandma. I don't want to be a caregiver 24/7. I've been doing this for years. Please God, why can't I at least have some freedom in my life? I'm lonely. I'm so lonely. No one should have to be this alone. Please pray for me. I have no belief anymore. No fight in me. Nobody ever cares about me, and it makes me upset and too tired to make friends anymore. Oh no, no one cares, and it hurts. Why do I always have to be so alone? I don't know how to go on. It's torture, and I haven't had a hug in years. I wish I could die.