Triselt
Disciple of Prayer
I have been praying for 8 months after losing my whole livelihood...lost my good paying job, my home, almost went homeless with my dog.. I ended up in a toxic living arrangement And I lost my license for few years (long story) and i cant even escape the living environment im stuck in...its virtually impossible to rent elsewhere.. im miserable at the job im in, i have very limited options cause i have no license... I have been thru so much in my life, ive only had 3 good. Years of peace and stability in my adult life and im 37 now...my living environment has always been hell most of those years..i made the best of every place but i have lost my identity to this point, and most of my "friends" are well.. non existent... Ww3 on the horizon.. and i just want a home..no more chaos, no more toxicity. A home on the same page... I feel like im on the verge of losing my sanity, because theres nothing i can rationally/logically..i'm beyond the point of suicide.. You want to pray for me or for miracle, to be able to have the funds provided to buy a house.. i nothing left to fight/live for.. I had constant communion and a relationship with the father, for several years..but i dont know if I believe in a god now, watching the craziness of this world being condoned and after watching others ravage my life, i dont have anything i can work towards or accomplish in reguards to getting into my own peaceful safehaven. We dont have years and years left...and i dont have the energy left in my soul.. theres nothing left to work towards/live for.. my living environment was the breaking point.. my living environments crucial and always has been to my mental/emotional spiritual well being.. i been way too many toxic environments most my life.. I have the means to ebd my life immediately. Ive poured my heart and soul into prayer, had faith for years etc but all the stuff that transpired, idk anymore. If theres a god, he just watches the suffering and is indifferent but ive lost all belief in a christian god. I am too far gone now to ask much longer, for intecessory prayer..this is my last and final request.. Names Anthony Marinelli (meh-rin-elly pronounciation) Im at a point now where the suffering is debilitating, and its never ending. Its no diffetent than If a dog is suffering non stop and has a poor quality of life you do the humane thing and put it out of its misery And that dog is the equivalent of me. Because my quality of life is gone..the miracle to buy a house to get me out of here, Im ready to end it.. im suffering 24/7 with no easy way out of my living environment. I love myself to much to watch/allow myself to suffer much longer. Pray for me daily... Maybe intercession will help but i have asked countless people over the months and... well i dont know anymore. I rather not wake up in hell on a daily basis, what im enduring is the breaking point. This is my last reques, my last prayer/plea for intercession and to god. I can not endure the intense agony much longer. Pray on my behalf before its too late and im deceased