Triselt
Disciple of Prayer
I have been praying for 8 months after losing my whole livelihood...lost my good paying job, my home, almost went homeless with my dog. I ended up in a toxic living arrangement and I lost my license for a few years (long story) and I can't even escape the living environment I'm stuck in...it's virtually impossible to rent elsewhere. I'm miserable at the job I'm in, I have very limited options because I have no license. I have been through so much in my life, I've only had 3 good years of peace and stability in my adult life and I'm 37 now...my living environment has always been hell most of those years. I made the best of every place but I have lost my identity to this point, and most of my "friends" are well...non-existent. WW3 on the horizon...and I just want a home...no more chaos, no more toxicity. A home on the same page. I feel like I'm on the verge of losing my sanity, because there's nothing I can rationally/logically...I'm beyond the point of suicide. You want to pray for me or for a miracle, to be able to have the funds provided to buy a house. I have nothing left to fight/live for. I had constant communion and a relationship with the Father, for several years...but I don't know if I believe in a God now, watching the craziness of this world being condoned and after watching others ravage my life, I don't have anything I can work towards or accomplish in regards to getting into my own peaceful safe haven. We don't have years and years left...and I don't have the energy left in my soul. There's nothing left to work towards/live for. My living environment was the breaking point. My living environment has always been crucial and always has been to my mental/emotional/spiritual well-being. I've been way too many toxic environments most of my life. I have the means to end my life immediately. I've poured my heart and soul into prayer, had faith for years, etc. but all the stuff that transpired, I don't know anymore. If there's a God, he just watches the suffering and is indifferent but I've lost all belief in a Christian God. I am too far gone now to ask much longer for intercessory prayer...this is my last and final request. Names ### (meh-rin-elly pronunciation). I'm at a point now where the suffering is debilitating, and it's never-ending. It's no different than if a dog is suffering non-stop and has a poor quality of life, you do the humane thing and put it out of its misery. And that dog is the equivalent of me. Because my quality of life is gone...the miracle to buy a house to get me out of here, I'm ready to end it. I'm suffering 24/7 with no easy way out of my living environment. I love myself too much to watch/allow myself to suffer much longer. Pray for me daily...maybe intercession will help but I have asked countless people over the months and...well, I don't know anymore. I'd rather not wake up in hell on a daily basis, what I'm enduring is the breaking point. This is my last request, my last prayer/plea for intercession and to God. I can't endure the intense agony much longer. Pray on my behalf before it's too late and I'm deceased.