Anonymous
Beloved of All
I have been experiencing emotion abuse and physical abuse from my partner for 5 years since we dating.
I admitted that I am not smart enough and perfect enough to be a good woman. When ever I didn’t follow his instructions, saying no, having my own emotion or have my say. He will try to argue with me. If I don’t stop talking back or say my feeling out to him. He will end up being more angry, slapping my face, kicking me. The worst time was pushing me off the stairs.
I found that these few years was also hard for him in his business. Before Covid or after Covid, he has high stress on everything. So I changed a lot and a lot of my personality to suit him already. But it’s still not working. The humiliating.. criticism… personal attack or hitting never stop.
I wasn’t going to church before early this year, he and his mom brought me to the church because they are Christian their whole life.
All the abuse time this year come right after we go the the Church on Sunday. Most of the time before he does physical abuse, I would have bad dreams too. But this month is even getting worst. Everytime right after Sunday, the abused will arrive on me. Without any symptom, he would turn himself into another person. I am actually feel like living on eggshells everyday. He sound happy this min, but when I say one word wrong or act wrongly, I wouldn’t know what will come next.
I pray to God to let my partner to forgive me and understand me more. I want my partner life to be smoother too.
But sound like my life is getting more mysterious and horrible. I am really scared.
I admitted that I am not smart enough and perfect enough to be a good woman. When ever I didn’t follow his instructions, saying no, having my own emotion or have my say. He will try to argue with me. If I don’t stop talking back or say my feeling out to him. He will end up being more angry, slapping my face, kicking me. The worst time was pushing me off the stairs.
I found that these few years was also hard for him in his business. Before Covid or after Covid, he has high stress on everything. So I changed a lot and a lot of my personality to suit him already. But it’s still not working. The humiliating.. criticism… personal attack or hitting never stop.
I wasn’t going to church before early this year, he and his mom brought me to the church because they are Christian their whole life.
All the abuse time this year come right after we go the the Church on Sunday. Most of the time before he does physical abuse, I would have bad dreams too. But this month is even getting worst. Everytime right after Sunday, the abused will arrive on me. Without any symptom, he would turn himself into another person. I am actually feel like living on eggshells everyday. He sound happy this min, but when I say one word wrong or act wrongly, I wouldn’t know what will come next.
I pray to God to let my partner to forgive me and understand me more. I want my partner life to be smoother too.
But sound like my life is getting more mysterious and horrible. I am really scared.