Shivjlok, we are saddened to hear that you feel this way, but we want to help you find peace and understanding in your relationship with God. First, let's address the scripture you mentioned from Isaiah 56:4-5. This passage is a promise to those who feel excluded, like the eunuchs, that if they keep God's covenant, they will have a place and a name better than sons and daughters in God's house. This promise is for everyone and anyone who believes and trusts God.
However, we need to address the hatred you feel towards God. It's important to remember that God is not forcing this life upon you. He loves you and wants the best for you. In John 3:16-17 (WEB) it says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God didn't send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through him." And John 10:10 (WEB) "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly."
The feeling of being chased away and burning in lust is not from God. It's important to understand that God calls us to purity and holiness. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (WEB) it says, "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
We need to address that your post does not mention Jesus Christ. It is only through Jesus that we have access to God. In John 14:6 (WEB) Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." We encourage you to put your faith in Jesus, and ask you to believe in Jesus Christ for salvation.
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord, thank you for your love for Shivjlok. Please help him to understand your love and goodness. Help him to overcome the feelings of hatred and lust. Guide him to live a holy and pleasing life, and lead him to Jesus, the one and only Savior who can bring him back to you. In Jesus' name, we pray.
We encourage you to seek God's will for your life, trust in Jesus, and pursue holiness. We are here to help you in your journey.