Let's lift up 
Let's lift up 
P
praysite-752
Guest
I first gave my life to the Lord when I was very young, waiting in the car with my mom to pick my dad up from the train station.
When I reached High School I became very worldly, giving myself to all lusts of the flesh, sex, drugs, alchohol. But if people asked I would still say I was a Christian.
For a brief time when I was around 16 I came back to Christ, I felt His presence, heard His voice, He even healed the sick through the laying on of my hands.
But then I fell away again.
Over the last year or two I have returned to Christ, my only desire is to serve Him. However, I fear I have committed the unpardonable sin...
See, the more I started to read my Bible and really seek God, evil thoughts started to come into my mind. Blasphemous thoughts.
When me, my brother, and my best friend decided to get baptised, the Enemy trully began to plague me. But I just kept crying out to God, evil thoughts flooded my mind, but I would cry out, more, I would ask God to cleanse me, or to crush me.
Driving to get baptised, I spent the whole time fighting the Enemy, thoughts would rise in my heart, blasphemies, and I would try to cast them down, crying out to Jesus.
Standing in the River, with the rain pouring down, I prayed continually in my heart.
I was baptised on the 22 of November, 2009. When I came out of the water I trully felt accepted.
Tears streamed down my face, and I told Jesus that whatever He asked I would do. My life was His now. And I meant it, I still do.
There was a lady there, and she prophesied over me. I couldn't remember much because of the emotion and my own prayers, but she said I would be a warrior.
However within hours the blasphemous thoughts returned. Images of Christ that are to evil to speak, I will spare you the burden lest I cast a stumbling block before you.
I have fought these thoughts as much as I can, calling out to Jesus. I desperately sought forgiveness, and found that all sins will be forgiven, except Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. As soon as I read that, and even now if I were to rea it in the Bible, thoughts try and arise that blaspheme the Holy Spirit of God.
I don't know what to do.
The lady that Prophesied over me at the River, later gave me the Prophecy printed on paper, it reads:
'"The evangelist". My son in you I am well pleased, I have heard your prayers and know your soft heart.
The plans I have for you are to prosper and bless you.
You will be a fisher of men, you will bring many into My Kingdom, you will care for them in their need.
Stay close to Me, commune with Me and I will guide you.
Your family are prat of your ministry as a father, treasure and protect them, teach them the way in which they should walk.
Form relationships with like minded peoples.
My son eat wisdom so you may know with whom to reach out with My words.
Fear not I am with you always and to the end of time.
Sayeth the Lord.'
The printed version does not mention being a Warrior, but that is the one thing I remember from the River, perhaps that is why God did not feel the need to write it down. Who knows.
I do not know if the Prophecy is of God, as I do not know the woman well enough yet but I am testing the spirits, and trying to see if she bears good fruit.
I am at a loss as to what to do. If I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit then there is no peace between me and God, the last thing I want to ever do is be a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing and lead others astray, especially my family. I have two daughters and I pray to God that He will save them.
I have called upon God to not let me lead His people astray, and have asked Him to crush me if I am His enemy.
Tonight (it is 4:44am I've been up for over 2 hours) I awoke, with my head rushing, the name Satan kept forcing itself into my thoughts. I would try and call out to Jesus but Satan would spill out of my mouth, I would barely manage to cut myself off, comand the devil to flee and then beg for forgiveness, and then again Satan's name would come out of my mouth. It took quite some time to get his name out of my head. I opened my Bible and started reading the Gospel of Matthew, I wanted Jesus' Words to be going through my head.
As you can no doubt tell I am under severe attack.
I love God with all my heart and want to serve Him. I confess Jesus as the Son of God and that He has come in the flesh, I proclaim the Gospel and cling to Jesus for Salvation. But still the thoughts come. I have even found myself questioning if Jesus was the true Christ thou I confess He is. And I will die confessing that Jesus Christ is Lord!
I don't know what to do, some days I think it would be best to go down to the train tracks behind my house and lay my head on them and wait for the next freight train.
I am so sick of these thoughts, these blasphemies I beg God to kill me but He doesn't.
Please help!
Grant Hall.
When I reached High School I became very worldly, giving myself to all lusts of the flesh, sex, drugs, alchohol. But if people asked I would still say I was a Christian.
For a brief time when I was around 16 I came back to Christ, I felt His presence, heard His voice, He even healed the sick through the laying on of my hands.
But then I fell away again.
Over the last year or two I have returned to Christ, my only desire is to serve Him. However, I fear I have committed the unpardonable sin...
See, the more I started to read my Bible and really seek God, evil thoughts started to come into my mind. Blasphemous thoughts.
When me, my brother, and my best friend decided to get baptised, the Enemy trully began to plague me. But I just kept crying out to God, evil thoughts flooded my mind, but I would cry out, more, I would ask God to cleanse me, or to crush me.
Driving to get baptised, I spent the whole time fighting the Enemy, thoughts would rise in my heart, blasphemies, and I would try to cast them down, crying out to Jesus.
Standing in the River, with the rain pouring down, I prayed continually in my heart.
I was baptised on the 22 of November, 2009. When I came out of the water I trully felt accepted.
Tears streamed down my face, and I told Jesus that whatever He asked I would do. My life was His now. And I meant it, I still do.
There was a lady there, and she prophesied over me. I couldn't remember much because of the emotion and my own prayers, but she said I would be a warrior.
However within hours the blasphemous thoughts returned. Images of Christ that are to evil to speak, I will spare you the burden lest I cast a stumbling block before you.
I have fought these thoughts as much as I can, calling out to Jesus. I desperately sought forgiveness, and found that all sins will be forgiven, except Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. As soon as I read that, and even now if I were to rea it in the Bible, thoughts try and arise that blaspheme the Holy Spirit of God.
I don't know what to do.
The lady that Prophesied over me at the River, later gave me the Prophecy printed on paper, it reads:
'"The evangelist". My son in you I am well pleased, I have heard your prayers and know your soft heart.
The plans I have for you are to prosper and bless you.
You will be a fisher of men, you will bring many into My Kingdom, you will care for them in their need.
Stay close to Me, commune with Me and I will guide you.
Your family are prat of your ministry as a father, treasure and protect them, teach them the way in which they should walk.
Form relationships with like minded peoples.
My son eat wisdom so you may know with whom to reach out with My words.
Fear not I am with you always and to the end of time.
Sayeth the Lord.'
The printed version does not mention being a Warrior, but that is the one thing I remember from the River, perhaps that is why God did not feel the need to write it down. Who knows.
I do not know if the Prophecy is of God, as I do not know the woman well enough yet but I am testing the spirits, and trying to see if she bears good fruit.
I am at a loss as to what to do. If I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit then there is no peace between me and God, the last thing I want to ever do is be a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing and lead others astray, especially my family. I have two daughters and I pray to God that He will save them.
I have called upon God to not let me lead His people astray, and have asked Him to crush me if I am His enemy.
Tonight (it is 4:44am I've been up for over 2 hours) I awoke, with my head rushing, the name Satan kept forcing itself into my thoughts. I would try and call out to Jesus but Satan would spill out of my mouth, I would barely manage to cut myself off, comand the devil to flee and then beg for forgiveness, and then again Satan's name would come out of my mouth. It took quite some time to get his name out of my head. I opened my Bible and started reading the Gospel of Matthew, I wanted Jesus' Words to be going through my head.
As you can no doubt tell I am under severe attack.
I love God with all my heart and want to serve Him. I confess Jesus as the Son of God and that He has come in the flesh, I proclaim the Gospel and cling to Jesus for Salvation. But still the thoughts come. I have even found myself questioning if Jesus was the true Christ thou I confess He is. And I will die confessing that Jesus Christ is Lord!
I don't know what to do, some days I think it would be best to go down to the train tracks behind my house and lay my head on them and wait for the next freight train.
I am so sick of these thoughts, these blasphemies I beg God to kill me but He doesn't.
Please help!
Grant Hall.
