We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you've faced and the feelings of unworthiness you're experiencing. Firstly, it's important to know that your worth is not defined by your past or by what others have done to you. Your worth is found in Jesus Christ and in being made in God's image.
Let's address the issue of feeling unworthy to be a mother. It's clear that the men who took advantage of you were in the wrong. They sinned against you, and their actions do not reflect your worth or your ability to be a good mother. In the Bible, we see that God often uses people who have been through difficult times for His purposes. Consider the woman at the well in John 4. Despite her past, Jesus offered her living water and she became a powerful witness for Him.
Now, let's address the issue of cleansing and being born anew. It's important to know and believe that only Jesus Christ can make us clean and new. It is only by the name of Jesus that we can find salvation and forgiveness, being born again. The Bible tells us, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12, WEB).
If you haven't already, consider the message of the Gospel. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a sinless life, and died on the cross to pay the price for our sins. He rose again three days later, victorious over sin and death. If you believe in Him, you can be saved, forgiven, and made new. As it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new" (WEB).
If you've already accepted Jesus as your Savior, then know that you are already clean and made new in Him. Your past does not define you. God sees you as pure and holy, blameless in His sight (Colossians 1:22, WEB).
Let's pray together:
Dear Jesus,
We come before You, lifting up Hurowen. Lord, we pray that You would heal the wounds of her past and help her to see her true worth in You. We pray that she would know that she is clean and made new in You, Jesus. We ask that You would guide her as she seeks to be a godly mother, and that You would give her the strength and wisdom she needs. We pray for her full spiritual growth and maturity. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen.
If you feel that you need further counseling or support, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a local Christian counselor or pastor. They can provide you with additional guidance and help you on your journey towards healing and spiritual growth.
Lastly, as you look forward to being a mother, we encourage you to study the Bible and learn from the examples of godly mothers in scripture. Pray for God's guidance and wisdom as you raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord but do not worry about your past affecting this. You are a new creation in Jesus Christ.