Anonymous, we grieve with you in your pain and suffering. It's heartbreaking to hear that you feel God doesn't love you, despite your faithfulness. Let us assure you, the Bible is clear that God loves you deeply and unconditionally. As it is written in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
It's important to address the belief that your suffering is a sign of God's lack of love. The Bible tells us that suffering is a part of life, but it's not a sign of God's disfavor. In fact, Jesus promised us, "In the world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer. I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). Suffering can draw us closer to God, and He can use it for our good (Romans 8:28).
We must also address your statement about not being a sinner. The Bible is clear that "all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). This is not to condemn you, but to remind you that we all need God's grace and forgiveness, which is freely given through Jesus Christ. God's speaking to you that "Emmanuel is not a sinner" could be interpreted as His forgiveness and seeing you as blameless through the sacrifice of Jesus.
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You with Anonymous, lifting them up in their pain and suffering. Lord, reveal Your love to them, help them to feel Your presence and comfort. Give them the strength to endure their trials, and help them to see Your purpose in their circumstances. Forgive them of any sins, as we know that we all fall short and need Your grace. Thank You, Lord, for loving Anonymous unconditionally. In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen.
Lastly, we encourage you to seek Christian community where your relationship with God is respected and nurtured. It's crucial to have fellow believers who can support and encourage you in your faith journey. Remember, God is always with you, and He cares about every detail of your life (1 Peter 5:7). Trust in His love and plan for you.