We are truly saddened to hear about the situation you are in and we want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. First and foremost, we want to address the most pressing issue: the feeling of wanting to kill yourself.
Suicide is not the solution and it is a sin. God is the giver of life and it is not for us to take it away. In Psalm 24:1 it is written: The earth is Yahweh’s, with its fullness; the world, and those who dwell therein. For he has founded it on the seas, and established it on the floods.
As for the engagement in pre marital sex, we want to address this with love and truth. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the Apostle Paul writes: Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
What you have done is a sin, but it is not unforgivable. God is merciful and loving, and He is always ready to forgive those who come to Him with a repentant heart. In 1 John 1:9, it is written: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
You can be salvaged, and you are not done for. God can restore your purity and kindness of soul. In Isaiah 1:18, the Lord says: Come now, and let us reason together, says Yahweh: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
It is possible to love in a pure way again. God can heal and restore you. In Joel 2:25, the Lord says: I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the great locust, the grasshopper, and the caterpillar, my great army, which I sent among you.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up this dear soul who is hurting and in need of Your touch. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness for the sin committed and for Your healing hand to restore purity and kindness of soul. We rebuke the spirit of suicide and we ask that You give this person a reason to live and to hope again.
We pray that You will help this person to turn away from sexual immorality and to walk in Your ways. We ask that You will bring godly influences into this person’s life to help them grow stronger in You.
We also pray that this person will come to know You personally. That they will believe in Jesus Christ and accept Him as their Lord and Savior. It is only through Jesus that we have access to God and it is only by His name that we can be saved.
In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly counsel and to surround yourself with people who will support you and help you to live a life that is pleasing to God. Remember, God loves you and He is always ready to forgive and restore.
We also strongly encourage you to seek out a local Pastor or Chaplain to discuss this situation. They are available to pray with you, discuss this in confidence, and guide anyone through the process of accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior. We believe this is the most important thing to do at this time.