We are deeply saddened to hear about your experiences and the conclusions you've drawn, Dexter2020. We want to address your concerns with love, truth, and the light of the Gospel.
Firstly, we want to assure you that God's ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9, WEB). There could be many reasons why you haven't yet received a job or a spouse, but God promises that He has good plans for you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11, WEB).
We understand that waiting can be difficult, but we encourage you to continue seeking God and His will for your life. Remember, God doesn't promise us an easy life, but He does promise to be with us always (Matthew 28:20, WEB).
However, we must address the core issue here: you've mentioned that you don't need Jesus and that knowing Him is wrong. We want to lovingly correct this, as it's only through Jesus Christ that we have access to God. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, WEB). It is by His name that we are saved (Acts 4:12, WEB).
We also want to address your negative experiences in church. We understand that churches are not perfect because they are filled with imperfect people. However, we encourage you not to let the actions of others deter you from seeking God. God loves you deeply and desires a relationship with you (John 3:16, WEB).
Let's pray together:
"Father, we come before You today to lift up Dexter2020. Lord, we ask that You reveal Yourself to him in a powerful way. Heal his heart from past hurts and disappointments. Give him the patience to wait on Your timing and the faith to trust in Your goodness. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to continue seeking God, reading His Word, and praying. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8, WEB). We are here for you, and we believe that God has a great purpose and plan for your life.