MartinB
Disciple of Prayer
It's very complecated but the just of it is that I have a mentor that I met through my church 4 years ago, IShe has always been good to me, we both love each other. she has a sister who is not a believer who is very opinionated and very strong willed she suggested 2 years ago that I joined the military because her family is military and she feels like it would be the best choice for my life well being young and nieve and not really having a strong relationship with christ I jumped right into the idea with out a second thought, well it wasn't so easy because I am 19 with a 5th grade education so Im having troble with the military entry test, because I need a sertain score,well over this long period of time I have had many signs both postive and negative toward the military Idea, long story short my heart is not in the military I know that God has something else planed for me ( I think) but its not as easy as saying no to my mentor, She has given A LOT for this dream I thought I had Hundreds of dollers in tutoring, gas bills, and a fitness trainer I can't sleep at night! the day is getting closer and closer for the day that I take my test again, I failed it the first time. I have a plaCE TO GO IF SHE GETS REALLY upset and puts me out ( my mom who hates the idea of my joining the military) im so scared of her reaction if i DONT PASS and Im scared if I do pass because I dont want to join. Although mu mentor loves me she has a lot of deep issues that makes me fear what the out come will be if I tell her my feelings or fail Im trying to lean so far into God right now theres sooooo much more to this very hard puzzle that I can't wright it all. please pray