God truly does exist and He does love and care for you , but first you need to ask the Lord God to forgive you of your sins { the Holy word of God is the Bible and it tells us that ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God } sin separates us from a Holy God , but God's only Son Jesus came to this earth as a sacrifice for all of our sins when He gave his life on the cross which put us all back in a right relationship with God . You need to confess that you are a sinner and that you need the Lord to forgive you , you need to believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and now make Him your Lord and Savior , if you believe this , then you are now a child of the living God and He will always help you . You really do need to get a Holy Bible to read , you cannot lead a life that is pleasing to God without His help . Life will always be challenging even for Christians , but now you have a heavenly Father who will never fail you . Your life matters and the Lord has you here for a reason , do not give up on life , your life is precious to God . Many people are praying for you ,