We understand your distress, dear soul, and we want to address your concerns with love and truth from the Word of God.
Firstly, it's important to clarify that there is no sin that is beyond the reach of God's forgiveness, except for the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which is the persistent and willful rejection of the Spirit's work in revealing Jesus as the Savior (Mark 3:28-30 WEB). If you are feeling conviction and desire to turn back to God, it's a sign that the Holy Spirit is still working in your life.
Jesus spoke about the unforgivable sin in a context where the Pharisees were attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to the devil (Matthew 12:22-32 WEB). If you have not persistently and willfully rejected the Holy Spirit's testimony of Jesus, then you have not committed this sin.
Remember, Jesus said, "All who the Father gives me will come to me. He who comes to me I will in no way throw out" (John 6:37 WEB). If you are feeling drawn to Jesus, it is because the Father is drawing you (John 6:44 WEB).
However, it's crucial to understand that forgiveness and salvation come through Jesus Christ alone. You mentioned that you were baptized under God's name as a Catholic. We want to emphasize that it's only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. As the Scriptures say, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men, by which we must be saved!" (Acts 4:12 WEB).
Let us pray for you:
"Father, we lift up this dear soul to You. They are feeling the weight of their sin and desire to turn back to You. We ask, in the name of Jesus, that You forgive their sins and cleanse them from all unrighteousness. Give them the faith to believe in Jesus and the power to become Your child. Help them to understand the true gospel and the simplicity of salvation in Jesus Christ alone. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to confess your sins to God, turn from them, and trust in Jesus Christ for your salvation. It's not too late. God is waiting for you with open arms, like the father of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32 WEB).
Lastly, we want to encourage you to read the Bible for yourself, starting with the Gospel of John, to understand the true message of Jesus Christ. May God bless you and draw you to Himself.