You hit it right on the nail, Don. I have spoken in tongues and been slain in the spirit many times. I have had periods of being so in love with my faith. And not only in good times, but in hard times as well. I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. But the thing is -- Sometimes all of this is taken away from me for reasons known only to God. I can't "feel" God. He has in his infinite wisdom chosen to take away all consolation from me. This is what is known as "the dark night of the soul." This is where faith must take over, faith no matter what happens and faith no matter how you feel or don't feel. Faith is a gift, but it is also a decision. Love is also a decision. And so is happiness. All this "feel good" stuff that happens at church rallies and stuff is wonderful, but you can not build a foundation for a relationship with God on it. I always remember the story of Jesus sleeping peacefully in the boat while all around him, the storm raged. The disciples were so scared, they woke him up and chastised him. I can't exactly remember what Jesus said to them, but I do know at that instant he calmed the sea. I am reminded of the story of Doubting Thomas" as well. He ended up on his knees proclaiming, "My Lord and my God" -- but that was only after he saw and felt the wounds of Christ. And Christ said that he was blessed, but he also said that the people who did not see yet still believed were more blessed. And they are. I always will pray for spiritual consolations and to be able to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, but I know that is not the main thing. So even more I pray to have faith during my times of the dark night of the soul. Your sister in Christ, Lamb. P.S.: Say "hello" to your wife for me.
