Anonymous
Beloved of All
I believe when I'm in pain, or hurting, it's because I deserve it. I have a history of self-harm and I hate myself. My husband also doesn't make me feel special and doesn't call me beautiful unless I wear makeup or dress up; we never see eye to eye. I require a deep connection and my husband and I are on two different planets; he is incapable of emotional connection, which makes me feel lonely. Whenever we go out, his eyes always wander to women of a particular race, or any other women that ISN'T me. I blame myself and feel I deserve this because I am an unworthy and fat piece of crap. During my pregnancy carrying our daughter, my husband refused to be intimate with me and it only made me feel more alone and sad. In my darkest moments, I feel very angry at my husband but also at myself for having an emergency c-section and not dying. I get poisonous and lash out because I feel deeply misunderstood. Can you please pray that God heals my soul and helps me love myself and see myself differently? I need prayers. Thank you.