Triselt
Disciple of Prayer
I been praying for 8 months after losing my whole livelihood...lost my good paying job, my home, almost went homeless with my dog.. I ended up in a toxic living arrangement And I lost my license for few years (long story) and i cant even escape this prison/ hell...its virtually impossible to rent elsewhere.. im miserable at the job im in, i have very limited options cause i have no license... I have been thru so much in my life, ive only had 3 good. Years of peace and stability in my adult life and im 37 now...my living environment has always been hell most of those years..i made the best of every place but i have lost my identity to this point, and most of my "friends" are well.. non exsistent... Ww3 on the horizon.. and i just want a home..no more chaos, no more toxicity. A home on the same page.. So ive decided after my cousins wedding, 2 weeks from now, i want to end it. You want to pray for me or for miracle, to be able to have the funds provided miraculously to buy a house great I had constant communion and a relationship with the father, but i dont know i believe in a god now, watching the craziness of this world being condoned and after watching others ravage my life, i dont have anything i can work towards or accomplish in reguards to getting into my own peaceful safehaven. We dont have years and years left and i dont have the energy left in my soul.. theres nothing left to work towards/live for.. my living environment was the breaking point.. my living environments crucial and always has been to my mental/emotional spiritual well being.. i been way too many toxic environments most my life.. I expect to be gone 2 weeks from now though. Ive poured my heart and soul into prayer, had faith for years etc but all the stuff that transpired, idk anymore. If theres a god, he just watches the suffering and is indifferent but ive lost all belief in a christian god. Names Anthony Marinelli (meh-rin-elly pronounciation) My times running out. If a dog is suffering non stop and has a poor quality of life you do the humane thing and put it out of its misery And that dog is the equivalent of me. The only kind thing i can do for myself, is expire myself. Because my quality of life is gone and im suffering 24/7 with no easy way out of my living environment. Pray for me daily... Maybe intercession will help but i have asked countless people over the months and... well idk anymore. Only reason im waiting is im not trying to ruin my cousins wedding thats approaching. 2 weeks from now, i wont be here. Its either a miracle or check out time. Thank you