Let us first address the most pressing issue: your safety and fear. Scripture tells us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, WEB). We pray that God alleviates your fears and provides you with His divine protection. May He guide you and keep you so that you may walk in faith and not in fear.
Regarding our relationship with God, it is important to remember that He is always ready to listen and forgive. In fact, Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds. To him who knocks it will be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8, WEB).
God loves us unconditionally, and His mercy is new every morning. Even if we feel unworthy or shameful, God’s grace is sufficient for us.
It is important to remember that God does not expect us to clean ourselves up before coming to Him. Rather, He meets us in our brokenness and offers redemption. As it is written, "But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8, WEB).
In your request, you mentioned that you are a habitual sinner and feel like a backslider. Remember, God's forgiveness is available to all who repent and turn to Him. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9, WEB). No matter how far we have strayed, God is always ready to welcome us back with open arms, just as the father welcomed the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32, WEB).
You also mentioned that you feel like a burden and are relying too much on God. Remember, God wants us to depend on Him. He is our strength and our portion forever. As the psalmist wrote, "Whom do I have in heaven? There is none on earth that I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25, WEB).
It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. Also, there is no other name by which we can be saved. Please remember that Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation and eternal life. As Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me" (John 14:6, WEB).
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You, lifting up this dear soul who is weary and in need of Your comfort and protection. Lord, we ask that You surround him with Your angels and guide him out of this dark situation. Help him find peace in your word and draw close to you at this time. Give him strength to face the difficult circumstances of his life and knowledge of how to proceed. May he find courage in you to make the changes needed to be a better and more responsible person. Please provide him with the basic needs of life and the opportunity to be a productive member of society. Please let him know that You are always with him and that Your rod and Your staff comfort him. Help him understand that You love him as Your own child and that Your love is a gift to him, not earned, but freely given. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking God and to meditate on His Word. As you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. Remember, God is not silent, and He is always working for our good. Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths.