Seraph
Prayer Warrior
I am so scared, so completly scared and terrified. I have nobody, No help, No support, I am alone. My ex wife is claiming that I am unfit still, I have no idea what will happen honestly. But what I do know is that I use to watch this woman cut her arms in front of me with blood dripping down her fore arms and yell its my fault shes this way, and that its my fault shes hurting herself, she use to constantly be little me control my money and finaces, she cheated on me constantly, She would physically harm me, and constantly put me down to others. and as a reward she gets to take the kids away from me and I get punished? Where is god in all this, why is this happening, I love my kids more then life they are the reason I strive and keep going. Does god see fit for me to be enslaved and abused finacialy to reward my abuser? does the world see fit to punish me for not doing exactly what she wanted. Mother knows best, Woman are better then men? I am constantly attacked and I just can't handle it. How am I suppose to live my life and grow well my abuse raises my kids teaching them to hate me, contorling me and hurting me with them. I am terrified of this woman, and she will hurt the kids and it's just going to be ignored... where is god in all of this? where is he, will he really let his childs chidren go into peril and watch me be punished with crulty to the point where i just give up and dont want to live anymore... I don't understand where he is. I need him now more then ever and I am completly alone, compeltly lost and afraid. I have always believd always been faithful always trusted and always served even in my downfalls I servered and believed there has never been a momment where I have not servered and believed. this is not a test of faith anymore but rather my heart breaking. why arn't you helping me god why aren't you there anymore. what did i do wrong why do you want me to suffer. why do you want my family to suffer, why would you ever allow any of this to take place? why arn't you beside me. am I cursed Have I done something wrong? my heart breaks more and more everyday as I get closer to this. False claims of me doing things lies and blatent disrespect being allowed all i have ever done is love my children and take care of them, and now i'm being told that I am not good enough to do that becuase a spoiled little girl want's her children so she can live the life she pretedned to have... god move, actually move, shake the very ground, smash this oposition, save me god please, I cannot defeat this enemy alone, and I cannot stand on my own. I need you and I need you to come to me be with me and in me I need you to, open the hearts of all who listen to me, and to see the actual reasons this woman wants what she wants I need you to stomp this fire out and throw the fuel in the trash, because if you down I fear my heart will stop out of pure heart break. I am weak, and terrified. will you not rise up and protect me, will you not? please just come to me and break this entire case in half stomp it down the drain and show me your glory. there is no more important thing in my life then this it is beyond life and death to me, this is my heart god this is my entire life, I cannot take another bought of heart break syndrom I will surly pass. please god, do not let me become another one of the men in the statistics of 18-45 who lose there life to false alligations and hate. amen