I am so desperate i would rather die than have this

I know that feeling of feeling powerless.Sometimes I think like that, when {as you say}the problem goes on and on,despite the fact that you hate itit's the opposite of what you want, and even though you and many are praying about it.Well, I pray anyway that things get better for you.
 
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Jesus is some good stuff!!! 
 
https://www.prayerrequest.com/profile/20648-hadassah/?status=1001533&type=status
 
Search the Bible for Jesus' Promises friend and claim them in Jesus! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus! 
 
Powerful healing promise hidden in Proverbs 3:7-8, I am not wise in my own eyes, I fear You Lord, I depart from evil, especially my own evil thoughts and my flesh is healed and my body is refreshed in Jesus :) 
 
Praying for others especially in your situation will help you tremendously in yours friend :) 
 
Take no thought for your life dear friend and Jesus will take thought for you. Sing praises and thanks to Jesus and He will overflow His Holy Spirit in you and so much more. He will fight for you and give you the desires of your heart :)
 
Pray this prayer look up the verses and pray it again with your friends and family and let's mount up with wings as eagles and soar. Soar with me :)
 
Let Us Pray:  God I ask in Jesus' name, bless me to grow closer to You.  I long for a more intimate relationship with You.  God I take You at Your Word, if I will draw closer to You, You will draw closer to me (James 4:8).  Show me how to draw closer to You.   Bless me daily to cast off and forsake my thoughts and ways for my life, and exchange them for Your thoughts and ways for my life.  Let me think Your thoughts and dream Your dreams for my life.  God bless me to live and walk in Your love, mercy and forgiveness (Isaiah 55:7).  I confess, I will take no thought for my life.   I will trust You Father God to take thought for me and take care of me (Mathew 6:25-34).  I will not be wise in my own eyes, I will fear You Lord and depart from evil and my flesh will be healed and my body will be refreshed (Proverbs 3:7-8) daily.  Thank You Jesus for Your Promises!  Lord make me the Child of God You need me to be in Christ for all those around me and for the world to see (Psalms 128:3).  Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirt Christ Jesus (Zechariah 4:6) this shall happen. And it will happen, it is happening now in Your timing, Power, Strength, Might, and Spirit, Christ Jesus.  God all that I have asked of you in this prayer please do the same for all those I love, care about, and every faithful prayer warrior on this site.  Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Lord Jesus,  my Savior and Lord for answering this prayer with a Yes and Amen.
 
Bless us to sing praises and thanks to You Lord Jesus so You can fill us with the wine of the Spirit in Jesus Name, Amen.
 
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God you are the only one that has the power to answer your child's cry. Hear their cries and uplift them with your healing grace. We are giving you our faith but please answer our prayers. Thank you for giving us your son and for all of what you do for us.
 
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