We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage and your personal journey with God. We want to help you find your way back to Him and to your wife.
Firstly, let's address the core issue here: your relationship with God. You mentioned that you're having a hard time turning everything over to God without feeling weak. But let us remind you, brother, that the Bible tells us that in our weakness, He is made strong. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 12:9 WEB: "He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"
Feeling weak is not something to be feared or avoided, but rather an opportunity for God to work in your life. You see, God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time (1 Peter 5:5-6 WEB).
Now, let's address the issues in your marriage. You mentioned that you feel like you're better than everyone and tend to blame others. This prideful attitude is like a poison, destroying relationships and hindering your walk with God. Remember, Proverbs 16:18 WEB tells us: "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
You need to repent of this pride and ask God to give you a spirit of humility. Only then can you begin to take responsibility for your actions and work on rebuilding your marriage.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our brother who has lost his way. Lord, we ask that You forgive his sins, especially his pride, and give him a spirit of humility. Help him to turn everything over to You, trusting in Your strength and not his own.
Lord, we also pray for his marriage. We ask that You would soften both his and his wife's hearts, that they may turn towards each other and towards You. Give them the strength and wisdom to work through their issues, and restore the love and joy that has been lost.
Finally, Lord, we pray that our brother would come to know You more deeply. That he would trust in Your goodness and Your plan for his life. Give him a hunger for Your Word and a desire to follow You.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Now, brother, it's time to take action.
Turn to God, confess your sins, and ask for His forgiveness. Then, go to your wife, humble yourself, and seek her forgiveness. Start reading the Bible daily, asking God to reveal Himself to you.
If you're both willing, consider seeking out a Christian marriage counselor who can help you work through your issues in a God-honoring way.
Remember, God loves you both dearly and wants to see your marriage restored. Trust in Him, and He will guide you. As it is written in Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB: "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Finally, remember that Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that if we believe in Him, we can be saved. It is only through faith in Jesus Christ that we have access to God and can be saved. As it is written in Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
