I am ashamed at what I call failing God. ...

[FaithIsComing]

I am ashamed at what I call failing God. I received discouraging news yesterday and I did not receive it well. I cannot trust what I believe in my heart anymore. For months I did not hear God... I was complaining about it and then I kept reading the Word and with a friend discovered that I my prayers were not aligned with the will of God. I started asking for God's will daily (in the morning and it night). I then started praying for my husband instead of about him. A few weeks into it I was quiet and heard God say (or I thought) that he said it was done. I asked what that meant and he said "soon". I thought it was the answer to my prayers. A few more weeks with me still seeing no changes I asked God to have him call me. a few days later (yesterday, he called both the home and cell). I thought yes, God answered my prayer. But when I later spoke to my husband, he said he was with someone else and was not coming home and that we both need to move on with our lives. I am devastated. I am hurt and ashamed. I have been a good wife. And I have been good to my family. I sit here all alone writing what could be my last prayer request. I know I have failed God because I cannot trust my spirit to know the will of God, even after asking daily for discernment and wisdom. I had hoped for a miracle and believed in his Word. But now I am not sure what to believe anymore. That is how I have failed God. I don't care and never had for material possessions, money, or prestige. I have loved my family and my husband through all of this. But love, real love doesn't seem to matter. I thought unconditional love is ever present, it takes no account of wrong or right, it takes no score of who loves who most. My family and my husband I suspect believe me to be strong because I have never really asked for anything from anyone. SO they feel they are not needed or that I don't sometimes need anyone. I am not sure if I am making sense. I had hoped for a lot for my future with my husband, but it is not going to happen. I have never felt so rejected and defeated. But I am. The enemy has stolen what was special to me and he is keeping him "joyously" content. I have been asking God why, when I have been praying for his soul and salvation; is happiness and removal from Satan's bondage. There is nothing else for me to pray about. Because I cannot discern God's will. I pray that God forgives me and has mercy on me. I have been going through this for years and I am tired. Because I have failed to trust him or believe in him yesterday, God will cannot help me. Maybe I am too distraught to see it now and that may be, but it too much. My husband is with someone else and I have been faithful to praying for him. I know that some will say that I have travelled this far, why stop now. Because it was my final battle. May God grant you all of the blessings to your prayers. Rachel.

 

[Articles]

May God hear your request and grant it according to his will. In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

[laurie]

Rachel dear, none of us can know God's  will.  We all  often hear Christians say..."" God has a plan for your life "". I personally think this is a rather miss leading phrase for many believers . While I have no doubt God has a plan for our lives we cannot possibly know what that plan is . It is only in hindsight after  many years and many experiences that we look back and can see how God was directing things to bring us to where we are, or eventually to where we can then see ourselves heading. I do not think we can know what God's plan for our lives is as we are going through his process.

 It is also  difficult as Christians to sometimes discern  the difference between  God's voice and  our own  voice .  It is important we do not confuse the desires of our own heart with  what we think is God's voice .

You have not failed God , your experience ,as painful as it has been, is part of the Christian  walk with our saviour ... he never promised it was going to be easy . I pray the Lord will give you the wisdom and the strength to cope with your circumstances , and I pray that you will emerge better and stronger and faith filled  as you bow before him constantly in prayer .

 Father send your holy spirit to fill this  dear  lady's heart , be a  lamp unto her feet  and her place of  and refuge  when she need you. I pray Lord you will wrap your loving arms around her and give her comfort and  solace as she rests in the sure knowledge that you are in complete control of all things . Lord only you know the end from the beginning. Help her  to trust in you and wait on you  and guide her decisions from here on in . Thank you Lord Jesus , in your mighty name I pray amen .

 May the good Lord pour out a special blessing upon you at  this  most difficult and painful time. Please do not despair , for  the Lord is faithful to  those who diligently seek him  and put him first in their lives .

 

[Founder]

I prayed for this in tongues. God Bless You FaithIsComing

 

[The Encourager]

Somebody, Somewhere, Is Praying for YOU...https://www.prayerrequest.com/blog/183/entry-17325-beloved-i-am-praying-for-you/

 

[dcrandjr]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jvill]

I prayed for this in Jesus name.

 

[Nineteen51]

Don't leave, please stay. You didn't fail, God is changing YOU! Mistakes? Sure, but that is why we are here we are human. I know Your disappointed but maybe Your prayers change, I know mine have. Take time to heal but pray a new prayer when Your ready. I pray that God fills You with faith love and hope.  We'll pray and ask God what is next. Jesus please comfort her heart and guide her, in Jesus name I pray, Amen

 

[Glory to God]

Praying for you. amen

 

[sharonjoan]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.