celestial428
Disciple of Prayer
I am about to be 41 in March. I have been sick for the last several years – since 2011 I have had 7 surgeries: four for Meniere’s disease and 3 on my ankles (R had one and L had two). For all of those surgeries you had to be flat for 8-12 weeks. I never have gotten blood clots. The notable ones and why I feel that is important is because for the first four, I had a surgery 2010, 2011, and two in 2013 and never got a blood clot. But due to trauma between my own health, scared about all my dreams never being fulfilled, and loved ones getting sick and dying (in 2011 I lost my best friend of 30+ years father who was my second father and I lost my lab to cancer only to have my mom have to have her left lower lobe of her lung removed to due lung cancer) I started getting migraines. In 2014, in May, this neurologist started these infusions that were magnesium and some other drugs – like literally 5 drugs and magnesium being in an IV is damaging to the veins. Well 2 infusions in I started getting superficial blood clots and they were blowing veins left and right and all of a sudden I had to go to a Hematologist and he said I had lupus anticoagulants (not lupus) which is a clotting disorder. I need to note that I had the same test ran before the infusions by a rheumatologist and it was negative, now I was being told positive and I’d have to be on aspirin the rest of my life and I probably couldn’t have children which has been my biggest dream along with being a wife. (Sorry if that doesn’t sound ambitious enough.) Well in July I broke part of my ankle and I ended up getting a bad DVT in the back of the calf. I was on birth control to regulate my periods only, but 4 days after being diagnosed with the DVT, I went to the hospital with 10 minutes to spare – multiple bilateral pulmonary emboli – too many to count. And they checked the leg again and came to feel the pulmonary emboli were not a result of the DVT but spontaneous. Well if anyone knows anyone on birth control you start hearing stories of onset multiple pulmonary emboli as a result of it. I was treated with heparin and in the hospital a week. I continued to fight the diagnosis because how did I make it through my whole life without knowing I had an autoimmune clotting disease and why did it come back negative BEFORE those dumb infusions. I have since found out blood thinners and heparin can change your blood chemistry a bit causing false positives. But none the less, I have this diagnosis that sits on top of Meniere’s disease, asthma and restrictive lung, migraines, fibromyalgia, and I have anxiety and depression. I know the other diagnoses are correct based on knowing my body but still feel weird about the lupus anticoagulants diagnosis. I even switched Hematologists because he said despite having it, YOU COULD have children if you did lovonox during the pregnancy. As of right now I refuse to take the Eliquis and remain on an aspirin regiment.
Recently I ran into some female issues because I hurt my ankle again and panicked and took eliquis with aspirin and it created a bit of a nightmare. During that time, I had a lot of questions. As I mentioned, getting married, having a baby – those are my dreams. Well last weekend I called the “on-call OBGYN” in my doctor’s office to ask a question and first he just put me down with my question claiming I just was not having fun on my period. Then when I said I still get anxious as I want a child he said something so cruel and heartless – “Get to fertility now!” I said I was trying to get through some medical treatments and then I would hopefully get back on my feet to start dating. He told me “No, you need a donor. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE LUXURY OF TIME OR OF DOING THINGS THE WAY YOU WANT WITH LOVE.” I almost had a nervous breakdown as a result. A child is a blessing, not some luxury, and he was making assumptions based on me being 40. I ended up going to a new OBGYN but it was like “did I get a better one or mess up again with this choice.” She said it is harder to get pregnant at my age, but did say she thought it was the birth control that through me over the edge and wondered herself about the diagnosis. She had me go for a transvaginal ultrasound just to check things out. It came back normal but I thought my ovaries were small and when I called to ask I got a doctor who said she couldn’t believe I was questioning anything, that if you go to an expert there is a reason, then she hit with the dig about my age and having a child – time is of the essence. I told her about the doctor last weekend and she was very rude saying “Not sure he said it right but I agree with the basis of what he said.”
My 41st birthday is in March. I have been through the 7 surgeries in 5 years and now have been going though gentamycin treatments in my middle ear to try to stop the vertigo. In fact, at 8am this morning I will have the final one in my left ear and I pray that is all I have to have. I am severely in debt, even did a go fund me account this year to try to help due to the fact I have not been able to work for five years and didn’t get one penny, not even from family. My parents are the ones helping me but they are 79 and 81. My dad is rather emotionally and verbally abusive. My mom is the one I am so close to and I want her around when I have a baby because of how amazing she is.
Plain and simple – I want to get back on my feet and have my dreams of marriage and a baby. I know with God all things are possible and I have had people praying for me on this but I am scared now. Those two doctors really broke my heart despite me trying to say “No, God provides, God wants us to find love, to have our dreams.” I have seen women way over my age have a child and I know not everyone is spending 15,000 on invitro. And I don’t want to sound terrible so please forgive me but I think I'm terrified I'm not worthy of love/marriage. That because I want to be loved and cherished and because I know I have health problems that I am not really going to be able to work in the long run that I want someone who can/will/want to take care of me...because I at the same time want to love him too and not feel like I settled out of fear...and even worse I fear I'm not worthy of a I'm child - again because I know my health problems do limit me and it means I really have to have a healthy baby that turns into a healthy adult because my own issues mean having a handicapped child would be beyond my limitations...and because I feel that I'm horrible and not worthy of either. And I fear being heavy and having debt and health problems will make no one want me or me not worthy.
So I guess I took the long way – my prayer request is mainly about finding love and having a child. I would appreciate prayer on the finance issue, I was a bit amazed not one friend or family member would help me raise even $8,000 to make a huge dent in my debt. But no one would help me, not one – I even wrote a very detailed article explaining the journey and had people attack me for talking more about one disease than another, not giving enough “show” to lupus anticoagulants and focusing on Meniere’s but Meniere’s is the one that has stolen so much time. And for posting the link I was thrown off my college chat line. I am supposed to be doing a course for a certificate in medical billing and coding but I haven’t gotten far in it because of the medical treatments. But I still plan to do it and hope it leads to a stable very very good income so I can not only pay bills but pay some off and put money into savings. But more that anything I pray for love and for a baby. So the heck what if I am going to be 41? As I said not everyone is doing in vitro and many women are having babies after 40. I am frustrated by these doctors as I feel they are naysayers. I want a baby badly, and I pray for God to show his power, that he can make a miracle happen with someone actually wanting me and that we have a child together. The problem is, since I am not back on my feet yet, we are still a year or two out right? So I truly need God’s hands on me to direct me to the right person and to have a child. I can’t take any hormones so invitro is out actually for me. And I know there is always adoption but I so desperately have an urge to have a child of my own. And frankly I would like to be able to testify that God works wonders and perhaps doctors should practice a bit more with faith than with negative attitudes. I am begging for prayer in this matter – that I will find love and have a child very soon - maybe sooner than even I think is possible. I want to trust and have faith in God that he will provide vs. listen to negativity but the negativity still breaks your heart. And I ask for prayer for my mother. And her spine – that she will overcome – that God will heal her and give her strength and help her overcome without surgery that is not good at her age. I know when two or more gather in God’s name to pray, well I know the verse: "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.” And I do want to be able to use this experience to show God’s glory and show naysayers that doubt should not have a place in how you treat a person…and what YOU THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW based on someone’s age. I don’t think doctors should say things so hurtfully to a patient especially when they are drawing the conclusion based on what they think about someone in their 40s. So please join me in praying for my mom, finances, but most of all join me in agreement regarding finding love and having a baby. Thank you for your prayers.
Please understand I need to think positive and put faith and trust in God, so please do not post attacks or mean or negative comments. Thank you. Sorry.
View attachment An Unimagined Life.pdf
Recently I ran into some female issues because I hurt my ankle again and panicked and took eliquis with aspirin and it created a bit of a nightmare. During that time, I had a lot of questions. As I mentioned, getting married, having a baby – those are my dreams. Well last weekend I called the “on-call OBGYN” in my doctor’s office to ask a question and first he just put me down with my question claiming I just was not having fun on my period. Then when I said I still get anxious as I want a child he said something so cruel and heartless – “Get to fertility now!” I said I was trying to get through some medical treatments and then I would hopefully get back on my feet to start dating. He told me “No, you need a donor. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE LUXURY OF TIME OR OF DOING THINGS THE WAY YOU WANT WITH LOVE.” I almost had a nervous breakdown as a result. A child is a blessing, not some luxury, and he was making assumptions based on me being 40. I ended up going to a new OBGYN but it was like “did I get a better one or mess up again with this choice.” She said it is harder to get pregnant at my age, but did say she thought it was the birth control that through me over the edge and wondered herself about the diagnosis. She had me go for a transvaginal ultrasound just to check things out. It came back normal but I thought my ovaries were small and when I called to ask I got a doctor who said she couldn’t believe I was questioning anything, that if you go to an expert there is a reason, then she hit with the dig about my age and having a child – time is of the essence. I told her about the doctor last weekend and she was very rude saying “Not sure he said it right but I agree with the basis of what he said.”
My 41st birthday is in March. I have been through the 7 surgeries in 5 years and now have been going though gentamycin treatments in my middle ear to try to stop the vertigo. In fact, at 8am this morning I will have the final one in my left ear and I pray that is all I have to have. I am severely in debt, even did a go fund me account this year to try to help due to the fact I have not been able to work for five years and didn’t get one penny, not even from family. My parents are the ones helping me but they are 79 and 81. My dad is rather emotionally and verbally abusive. My mom is the one I am so close to and I want her around when I have a baby because of how amazing she is.
Plain and simple – I want to get back on my feet and have my dreams of marriage and a baby. I know with God all things are possible and I have had people praying for me on this but I am scared now. Those two doctors really broke my heart despite me trying to say “No, God provides, God wants us to find love, to have our dreams.” I have seen women way over my age have a child and I know not everyone is spending 15,000 on invitro. And I don’t want to sound terrible so please forgive me but I think I'm terrified I'm not worthy of love/marriage. That because I want to be loved and cherished and because I know I have health problems that I am not really going to be able to work in the long run that I want someone who can/will/want to take care of me...because I at the same time want to love him too and not feel like I settled out of fear...and even worse I fear I'm not worthy of a I'm child - again because I know my health problems do limit me and it means I really have to have a healthy baby that turns into a healthy adult because my own issues mean having a handicapped child would be beyond my limitations...and because I feel that I'm horrible and not worthy of either. And I fear being heavy and having debt and health problems will make no one want me or me not worthy.
So I guess I took the long way – my prayer request is mainly about finding love and having a child. I would appreciate prayer on the finance issue, I was a bit amazed not one friend or family member would help me raise even $8,000 to make a huge dent in my debt. But no one would help me, not one – I even wrote a very detailed article explaining the journey and had people attack me for talking more about one disease than another, not giving enough “show” to lupus anticoagulants and focusing on Meniere’s but Meniere’s is the one that has stolen so much time. And for posting the link I was thrown off my college chat line. I am supposed to be doing a course for a certificate in medical billing and coding but I haven’t gotten far in it because of the medical treatments. But I still plan to do it and hope it leads to a stable very very good income so I can not only pay bills but pay some off and put money into savings. But more that anything I pray for love and for a baby. So the heck what if I am going to be 41? As I said not everyone is doing in vitro and many women are having babies after 40. I am frustrated by these doctors as I feel they are naysayers. I want a baby badly, and I pray for God to show his power, that he can make a miracle happen with someone actually wanting me and that we have a child together. The problem is, since I am not back on my feet yet, we are still a year or two out right? So I truly need God’s hands on me to direct me to the right person and to have a child. I can’t take any hormones so invitro is out actually for me. And I know there is always adoption but I so desperately have an urge to have a child of my own. And frankly I would like to be able to testify that God works wonders and perhaps doctors should practice a bit more with faith than with negative attitudes. I am begging for prayer in this matter – that I will find love and have a child very soon - maybe sooner than even I think is possible. I want to trust and have faith in God that he will provide vs. listen to negativity but the negativity still breaks your heart. And I ask for prayer for my mother. And her spine – that she will overcome – that God will heal her and give her strength and help her overcome without surgery that is not good at her age. I know when two or more gather in God’s name to pray, well I know the verse: "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.” And I do want to be able to use this experience to show God’s glory and show naysayers that doubt should not have a place in how you treat a person…and what YOU THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW based on someone’s age. I don’t think doctors should say things so hurtfully to a patient especially when they are drawing the conclusion based on what they think about someone in their 40s. So please join me in praying for my mom, finances, but most of all join me in agreement regarding finding love and having a baby. Thank you for your prayers.
Please understand I need to think positive and put faith and trust in God, so please do not post attacks or mean or negative comments. Thank you. Sorry.
View attachment An Unimagined Life.pdf
let's lift up prayers for healing: 
**Healing Needed:** Let's lift up prayers for Anonymous’ friend with scoliosis and another Anonymous with wrist pain. Prayers for comfort and healing in Jesus' name.
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**Mental Health:** Praise report! 
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Let's lift up these urgent requests, everyone! @Busqueoficioin God, 
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Pray for Mercur’s husband Bruce's complete recovery.
