craig708
Disciple of Prayer
I am a 38 year old man soon to be 39. I got divorced a year ago from the woman I thought was sent from god as my soul mate. I had actual signs during our marriage when times were hard that I should stay and the signs were amazing as in answered exactly like I asked to happen to show me that we were meant to be together, It ended anyway after all the effort, I found out many lies and secrets that blew me away. I am strong and still work, sleep, eat, but a part of me is dead. I dont curse God or blame him, but this has really damaged my religious views, very confused, Most answer and say well God wanted you to go through it, or it was her choice not yours, any answer does not answer why he gave me actual signs that this marriage was meant to be after I rebuked satan not to interfer with my prayers, someone told me well satan hears your prayers too and will trick, My answer is if I rebuked him then that should be impossiable because God is not the author of confusion, right? I have dated a few women and bless their hearts all were nice and 2 wanted to get serious but they dont even come close to my ex. I could never take her back because of what I know and the lady I went to for council said she is almost certain my ex has Covert Narcissism, which is no cure type disorder,. Its a long and hard thing to explain, To make it short there are 2 types, Covert and Overt, The covert type is when someone comes across nice, sweet, too good to be true, but the type that lies, has secret affairs and is very good at covering their tracks, fits my ex to a T. I need prayer, I have been doing good but my faith has went down hill almost at times it seems it will never return in full. I am scared of myself at times, not as in hurting myself but just not caring, I have lost all motivation and drive, I just exist. I work 3rd shift in Law enforcement, in a prison and here I am have not slept all day and got to go face that hell on earth tonight and it seems as if I am alone. I am not close to my family and really dont have any friends. I never have and like it that way but I want an honest companion to live the rest of my life with, To me my ex was everything I could ever have wanted, very beautiful and when times were good it was great but the lies and dishonest actions caught up with her and I am left with a screwed up life now. I know you dont know me but pray for me, I really need prayer for motivation, for God to guide me, and make heads or tails of some of all this mess. I need help so please pray for me, Dont worry it may sound as if I am thinking to harm myself, I assure you I would never, but even though im ex military 8 years, work in a tough job, a decent looking guy well thats what im told anyway, I still have feelings and lately those feelings hurt and seem as if are here to stay, One more thing, Its hard to admit, but I have an addiction, of RX meds, I have been slacking up on them and I think it is going to be something I can quit soon and yes they are legal prescribed pain meds, but they helped me with confidence and drive i desprately needed but now it is a problem not a help. So I found this site and would like for you to pray for me, Thanks Craig.......
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