Trohmuaric
Disciple of Prayer
I am 6 years born again and i have been having challenges,setbacks,problems,disappointments,obstacles etc which gave me anxiety and depression that i have been through medication, but for the past 1 year 6 months, things got worse. Through it all; -I have turned to the eternal unchanging truth in Jesus Christ -I have fasted many times -I have turned to and trusted in Jesus Christ -I have proclaimed the word of God -I have fellowshipped (church) -I have given to the poor -I have been prayed for by pastors -I have cast all my cares and anxieties into him -I set up a war room in my house where I read the word and pray -I have won souls by successfully turning some people to Jesus Christ But the challenges,setbacks,problems,disappointments,obstacles kept rising and rising, and gave me anxiety, fear and depression etc, my coach business kept deteriorating, until I was left with 1 which had an accident and 45 people died including the driver, as if that wasn't enough more challenges kept coming. I tried praying and fasting and nothing happened,then I became angry at God and stopped praying for 3 weeks I think, then i fasted with a prayer saying "you're going to have to come for my rescue", nothing happened still. Right now i started having thoughts that the death of the people in the accident has something to do with me, that's it's going to stick with me until i kill myself or run mad, and these thoughts give me immense fear and axiety, i pray to Jesus to help me and nothing is happening. Right now I am praying a prayer saying "God i hand everything to you", but still nothing is happening. I am about to give up on God and go back to the world, because there is no way I can continue to live like this, when i was in the world I wasn't living like this.Or could I be lying to myself that I am a christian and God knows me?Could all this be a lie maybe?Or maybe God and satan etc are a hoax?I don't know what to think anymore.