Swantalelf
Servant
I hate my marriage. I hate the options I have right now. Neither roommate is great. I am afraid of making a terrible mistake. I am done with my marriage. I need to accept it and stop asking him anything. He is so inconsistent and his story keeps changing. I do not want to deal with his behavior, lies, and poor health. He has no where to go, and I am still uncertain about my future. I do not know why I bother saying anything to him. I do not want anything from him any more. He is just so negative. He keeps lashing out and wanting affection. He is being mean because I refuse to do that for him although I do not want to be his wife anymore. I wish I had divorced him the very first time I attempted to do it, but I let my father talk me out of it. All I can do is treat him like co-worker. I am not filing for divorce. I am not doing or saying anything to him about our relationship. It is over. I regret staying with him. I stayed for the kids. I want peace. I want to forgive him. I want a permanent solution. I wish someone could make him see how wrong he treated me. He is a terrible husband and person. He is not as great as he think he is. In fact, he is far from it. He wants something he does not deserve nor has he earned. He has the nerve to say this is our house when I have provided more financially, but he wants to paint the picture that I am obsessed with money. I want him to go away once my sister in law moves in and I get all I need. He needs to live on his own, so he can appreciate what he had. I am afraid it is too late. I am only putting up with him because I need health insurance. I keep trying and failing. I just need to stop. I need to leave him alone and stop thinking about him and my sister. Only You can save him God. He is a lost cause. I pray You reveal to him the truth before he goes to hell. His health is failing. He is miserable. I am no longer putting up with it after he had the nerve to curse me out. I hate him very much. I hate I am afraid of making the wrong decisions. I hate how he makes me feel. I hate him so very much. I hate him more than anyone in my whole life. I want to forgive him and forget about the past. I will not let him hurt me again.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.