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Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
So it is pretty obvious we are suppose to forgive others; not only for their sake, but its for our salvation as well. But how do we forgive if its still happening and you are still angry over it? I will answer this question with another question. Did you know if you do not forgive someone not only is it a sin but leaves a door open for Satan and his little pals to get inside your mind and torture you with thoughts and ideas? I know that doesn't answer the question on how but it does give some motivation on doing it, right? I hope so I don't know about you but when I cleaned house in my heart and mind I did it to keep clean, sure the enemy still tries to plant ideas in my head, however I am aware of them now and cast them out just as fast as they come in. Ephesians 4:27 "and do not give the devil a foothold".
Remember the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant? I wont put it all here because its long but go open your bible and look it up then come back, I will be here I promise. Matthew 18:21-35. OK so what happened when the slave asked for forgiveness from his debt he owed to his master? He was forgiven just as God forgives us. Then when his fellow slave owed him money what did he do? He tried to force him pay him what he was owed and wouldn't give him any time to repay him. What happened when the master found out about the slaves actions? He was punished, badly punished. Now look at it this way the Master (God) forgave the servant (Us) and we where free, then the servant (us) could not forgive another servant (us) then the Master (God) threw the servant (us) in prison (hell). Does that give you motivation to forgive yet?
I know it is hard to forgive when it hurts so bad, and we just don't see why the other person (our wives) are still doing it or did it to us. But why does it hurt? What is it hurting? That is easy its because it hurts our pride which according to His word we are not suppose to have pride in ourselves or anyone else except Him. Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom". I wont go into this to much about pride and humility because I have already touched this subject, if you need a refresher go to the last posting "Grace + Wisdom = Humility".
The other reason we have a problem forgiving is because, well we are still angry about it. How can you forgive if your still angry about it.(Now this portion is my opinion on my readings of His word, it may be right or wrong, however the Holy Spirit really pushed this on me and made me think, I ask you to do your own research and come up with your own opinion on this matter.) What does the word of God say about anger? Psalms 37:8 "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.". Proverbs 30:33 "For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife." . Hmmm so anger is a bad thing according to those two verses it leads to evil and strife those are two things I do not want in my life.
Now I know some people say but righteous anger is ok because of this verse Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". So tell me this if anger or righteous anger is ok why does it matter if we let the sun go down if we are angry? If it wasn't a sin or a bad thing cant we have it all the time? Yes there are plenty of verses where God gets angry, and Jesus gets angry however they are truly righteous and without sin in any form. It is impossible for us to have righteous anger because of Adam letting sin in our life.
No where in the bible does it say its ok to be angry in fact if you go down a little further in that chapter it says this Ephesians 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and ANGER, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.". Does that sound like its ok to be angry if it is saying get rid of it? No it doesn't. My opinion on this matter is it is a sin to be angry at any one for we are created in Gods image and if we become angry with another person then we are also being angry at God. He is the creator why should we be angry at His creation? He has every right to be angry with us (Righteous anger) because we are His creation and we are not doing what he intended us to do. We are suppose to love our neighbor, and treat them how we would want to be treated. Do you like it when others are angry at you? No so leave the anger to God, for He is the only one who can avenge and punish the wicked.
Another reason you may not be able to forgive is because you may be telling others about what she has done to you. Even though this is hard not to do because we want to make sure others know why we are upset (Pride). This should be kept between you and God not your friends, family or anyone else. We are upset yes but we have no right to tell other of our wife's doings. Think about it, when she comes back do you want others to look at her and say bad things about her, or maybe think it is ok to make a move on her because she was that way? I know I don't. By telling others about what she is doing and how she is sinning is dishonoring her, and I am just as guilty as the next person. 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers" . I know what your saying "but Scott my wife doesn't live with me so the verse doesn't count towards me". Well as I said in some post before about faith we act as we are still married and move on with life as she still in our homes because of faith with works.
So stop slandering your wife and her actions, instead take this time to look inside yourself and see what you may have done to cause her to leave or cheat. Ask God to reveal this to you and ask for forgiveness from Him when he does. Then swallow your pride and ask your wife to forgive you, do not justify your actions, be humble and accept fault with no excuses about your actions. Ask her once and only once if she doesn't forgive you right away, that's ok she knows you asked. Be compassionate in asking not judgmental, do not point the finger at anyone except yourself.
Love her unconditionally, Love her for who she is not what she says or does. Remember she is not your enemy, she is still the same woman inside that you married, she is just lost because of pain.
She is not your enemy but she is held captive by the enemy. DO NOT STOP PRAYING for her in any way shape or form. The second we stop praying is the second we give up and let the enemy win.
Thank You and God Bless.
Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
So it is pretty obvious we are suppose to forgive others; not only for their sake, but its for our salvation as well. But how do we forgive if its still happening and you are still angry over it? I will answer this question with another question. Did you know if you do not forgive someone not only is it a sin but leaves a door open for Satan and his little pals to get inside your mind and torture you with thoughts and ideas? I know that doesn't answer the question on how but it does give some motivation on doing it, right? I hope so I don't know about you but when I cleaned house in my heart and mind I did it to keep clean, sure the enemy still tries to plant ideas in my head, however I am aware of them now and cast them out just as fast as they come in. Ephesians 4:27 "and do not give the devil a foothold".
Remember the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant? I wont put it all here because its long but go open your bible and look it up then come back, I will be here I promise. Matthew 18:21-35. OK so what happened when the slave asked for forgiveness from his debt he owed to his master? He was forgiven just as God forgives us. Then when his fellow slave owed him money what did he do? He tried to force him pay him what he was owed and wouldn't give him any time to repay him. What happened when the master found out about the slaves actions? He was punished, badly punished. Now look at it this way the Master (God) forgave the servant (Us) and we where free, then the servant (us) could not forgive another servant (us) then the Master (God) threw the servant (us) in prison (hell). Does that give you motivation to forgive yet?
I know it is hard to forgive when it hurts so bad, and we just don't see why the other person (our wives) are still doing it or did it to us. But why does it hurt? What is it hurting? That is easy its because it hurts our pride which according to His word we are not suppose to have pride in ourselves or anyone else except Him. Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom". I wont go into this to much about pride and humility because I have already touched this subject, if you need a refresher go to the last posting "Grace + Wisdom = Humility".
The other reason we have a problem forgiving is because, well we are still angry about it. How can you forgive if your still angry about it.(Now this portion is my opinion on my readings of His word, it may be right or wrong, however the Holy Spirit really pushed this on me and made me think, I ask you to do your own research and come up with your own opinion on this matter.) What does the word of God say about anger? Psalms 37:8 "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.". Proverbs 30:33 "For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife." . Hmmm so anger is a bad thing according to those two verses it leads to evil and strife those are two things I do not want in my life.
Now I know some people say but righteous anger is ok because of this verse Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". So tell me this if anger or righteous anger is ok why does it matter if we let the sun go down if we are angry? If it wasn't a sin or a bad thing cant we have it all the time? Yes there are plenty of verses where God gets angry, and Jesus gets angry however they are truly righteous and without sin in any form. It is impossible for us to have righteous anger because of Adam letting sin in our life.
No where in the bible does it say its ok to be angry in fact if you go down a little further in that chapter it says this Ephesians 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and ANGER, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.". Does that sound like its ok to be angry if it is saying get rid of it? No it doesn't. My opinion on this matter is it is a sin to be angry at any one for we are created in Gods image and if we become angry with another person then we are also being angry at God. He is the creator why should we be angry at His creation? He has every right to be angry with us (Righteous anger) because we are His creation and we are not doing what he intended us to do. We are suppose to love our neighbor, and treat them how we would want to be treated. Do you like it when others are angry at you? No so leave the anger to God, for He is the only one who can avenge and punish the wicked.
Another reason you may not be able to forgive is because you may be telling others about what she has done to you. Even though this is hard not to do because we want to make sure others know why we are upset (Pride). This should be kept between you and God not your friends, family or anyone else. We are upset yes but we have no right to tell other of our wife's doings. Think about it, when she comes back do you want others to look at her and say bad things about her, or maybe think it is ok to make a move on her because she was that way? I know I don't. By telling others about what she is doing and how she is sinning is dishonoring her, and I am just as guilty as the next person. 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers" . I know what your saying "but Scott my wife doesn't live with me so the verse doesn't count towards me". Well as I said in some post before about faith we act as we are still married and move on with life as she still in our homes because of faith with works.
So stop slandering your wife and her actions, instead take this time to look inside yourself and see what you may have done to cause her to leave or cheat. Ask God to reveal this to you and ask for forgiveness from Him when he does. Then swallow your pride and ask your wife to forgive you, do not justify your actions, be humble and accept fault with no excuses about your actions. Ask her once and only once if she doesn't forgive you right away, that's ok she knows you asked. Be compassionate in asking not judgmental, do not point the finger at anyone except yourself.
Love her unconditionally, Love her for who she is not what she says or does. Remember she is not your enemy, she is still the same woman inside that you married, she is just lost because of pain.
She is not your enemy but she is held captive by the enemy. DO NOT STOP PRAYING for her in any way shape or form. The second we stop praying is the second we give up and let the enemy win.
Thank You and God Bless.